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Band 5.5

Individual greed and selffishness have been the basis of the modern society.some people think that we must return to older and more traditional way of respect for the family and community in order to create better world to live in.To what extent do you agree or disagree??

In the past era, elders were more valuable to people.Nowadays,they are less.There are many reasons behind that but the most common cause is that people are influenced by western culture
according to
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 my opinion.Here, individuals have their own overexcitation and self-centre
while
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 some masses argue that the traditional ways for respect of family and society were a better phrase to live in.In
this
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 essay,I firmly agree with
this
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 statement. To embark with, in the traditional
way
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 humankind believes that family bonding is pro mount rather than anything
due to
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 that they adjust and sacrifice their own needs and create a healthy and wealthy environment in the family.
In addition
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,they think that respect for older is part of our culture and ritual
hence
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 ethnicity connect with their dear one and near one.
Also
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,they don't have advanced technology compared to today so they have time to discuss their problem with family members and give suggestions to take wise decisions. On the hand, in the modern
way
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 they have transparency between family
as well as
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 kin and kith
due to
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 ,
this
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 they connected with each other and freely discuss their problems and get remedies for them without any fear and hesitance .
However
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,
due to
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 the excessive use of electronic gazettes and advanced ,
Correct your spelling
automation
atomation
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,atomation
show examples
 they don't have time to spend with family members so the traditional
way
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 is better than the modern
way
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. To wrap up
this
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 discussion, the traditional
way
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 is far better than the better modern
way
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 because it learnt the moral values and the virtue of our culture and is connected with our community.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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