Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education while others argue it is not so. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and opine

It is often argued
by
Change preposition
that
show examples
a substantial proportion of individuals think that competitive
recreations
Fix the agreement mistake
recreation
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
many positive effects on children's education.
However
, others believe that it is not good for toddlers.
This
essay will discuss both views as far as I am in the favour of former notion. To commence with, adolescents can effortlessly make a successful career in physical activities. It is helping to increase mind power and concentration.
In other words
, juveniles can do hard work to achieve good skills in outdoor activities. They are becoming patient to learn
this
and do regular exercises which are helping to maintain a full body. They must focus and enjoy
this
game.
For example
, Oxford
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
in the USA revealed that more than one-fifth of students have high focus power because they are playing outdoor games regularly. They are preparing for competitive sports
due to
their achievements. They should learn discipline and rules which is helping to achieve high marks on the academic exam.
Thus
, it is extremely good for adolescents' education when they learn in the right way.
In addition
, the fact cannot be denied that several children are only focusing on divertissement. They cannot focus on academic work and examinations. Sometimes they are playing bet games.
For instance
, the
department
Capitalize word
Department
show examples
of
education
Capitalize word
Education
show examples
in Australia clearly that more than two-fifths of youngsters are playing gambling games and
lost
Verb problem
have
show examples
high expenditure on these activities. They can easily learn competitive sports, but sometimes they do not achieve success and generate money. They are trying to play in bet tournaments.
As a result
, it is focusing on divertissement as compared to academic work. Sports are creating massive disadvantages.
To conclude
, unquestionably, it has both negative and positive sides when toddlers are playing
this
in the correct way. They can achieve massive success and acquire new information.
Submitted by lovishh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Improve the overall structure of the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Include a stronger introduction and conclusion to improve the overall essay structure.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: