Many offenrs commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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In recent days, many criminals break the
law
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again after they are released. In
this
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essay, I will explain the reason for it and the solution to prevent it. One of the reasons why they still want to conduct the crimes is because the offenders do not feel punished by the
punishment
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. In a nutshell, the
law
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system
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wants to create regret for the offender through the
punishment
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system
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such
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as
jail
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and community service.
However
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, in the reality, the
system
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in
such
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places is not sufficient enough which makes them not feel regretful.
For example
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, in Indonesia, there is a bribery case where a corruptor whose costs 1000 billion rupiahs to the
country
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country's
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tax money can get an extremely comfortable
jail
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room. There are TV, AC and Refrigerator inside of the place.
This
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kind of
jail
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room will not give any offenders a regret
for
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apply
show examples
their actions. As the solution to all of the
problem
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problems
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, the
government
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might optimize the
law
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punishment
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system
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. There are two approaches that
government
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can do which are the
law
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system
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approach
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and the security
approach
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. Through the
law
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system
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approach
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, the
government
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could revise the bare minimum level for someone to be placed behind the bar. As an idea, a person who only steals a small amount of money may only get community service responsibility rather than being placed in
jail
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.
This
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could prevent someone to be influenced
with
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by
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a bad environment inside the prison. Meanwhile, in the security
approach
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, the
government
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might spend money to enhance the
system
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and give a proper salary to workers inside the
jail
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so they will be strengthened if they need to face
in
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apply
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bribery or other crimes that could be conducted inside the bar. As an illustration, some who have enough salary will not be bothered to accept a bribe.
Therefore
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, it is essential to make sure that the
system
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inside the prison is optimized. In conclusion, it is important to make sure criminals got enough and appropriate
punishment
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so they will not recommit their crimes. To realize
this
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, the
government
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needs to optimize the
law
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system
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approach
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and the security
approach
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.
Submitted by regina.christella7 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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