IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, more money is spent on transport system in the cities. In contrast, very little is spent in rural areas. What are the effect of this and what can be done to solve this problem.

Transportation plays a crucial role in the development of places
regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
show examples
 of urban and rural areas.
However
Linking Words
, the governmental authorities tend to give more preference to cities over the countryside in transit budgets, which leads to several serious impacts
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as accidents and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of individual growth in villages.
This
Linking Words
 issue can be tackled by allocating proper financial resources
as well as
Linking Words
 appropriate planning. Set the wheel in motion ,
there
Correct word choice
and there
show examples
 are plenty of problems that can arise because of a low-budget traffic system.
Linking Words
Firstly
Replace the word
First
show examples
 of all, natives of villages travel to towns to get better facilities
such
Linking Words
 as jobs
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and schooling on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 daily basis. If the
roads
Use synonyms
 are not properly maintained,
then
Linking Words
 it may cause severe accidents .
Consequently
Linking Words
 ,individuals would avoid travelling because nobody prefers growth over life.To exemplify it,A survey showed that 70% of severe accidents result from improperly constructed
roads
Use synonyms
 or single-lane traffic systems.
In addition
Linking Words
,authorities should keep spending some money on transport on a regular basis,which would
the
Verb problem
offset the
show examples
 high costs of new
roads
Use synonyms
 in future.
For example
Linking Words
,a simple repair can avoid the construction of new
roads
Use synonyms
 in villages ,which could result in higher expenditure in future because of high inflation . As every lock has a key ,there are some simple measurements to resolve the issue
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with reducing its major impacts. Planning is the milestone of every development.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should implement proper transit plans for both places.
For instance
Linking Words
,a socialist argues that good
roads
Use synonyms
 are not only useful for suburbs but
also
Linking Words
 reduce the chances of a scarcity of food and other goods
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that are imported from rural
.
Check wording
areas.
show examples
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,it will help to
faster
Rephrase
speed up
show examples
 the travelling speed among cities which are connected by some countryside areas.
Therefore
Linking Words
,a small amount of budget for rural traffic
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
can be proved fruitful for the
overall
Linking Words
 development of a country and give a high rise to the national economy. In
Correct article usage
a
show examples
nutshell,the issue has social and economic effects on society.
Thus
Linking Words
 ,the small efforts of the officers can play a major role
to control
Change preposition
in controlling
show examples
 the problem.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your essay. Start with a clear view of the problem and what you will show.
structure
Use 3 parts: intro, two body para, conclusion. Each part has one main idea.
coherence
Keep ideas linked. Use simple words to link things like also, but and because.
examples
Give clear examples for each point. Check numbers and facts before writing.
grammar
Check grammar. Use simple tense and short sentences. Break long lines into two.
content
Topic is clear and you state a view on budget issues.
structure
You try to give a plan for the solution.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: