Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The advantage of smartphones nowadays has become
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a big part of our lives
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
adults and
children
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
This
trend could be seen that
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
brought plenty of
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
and useful tools in education for
children
.
Like
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
, there are good influences of using smartphones for
children
but there are
also
negative voices
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
children
spending time with
Add an article
the smartphone
a smartphone
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
. In my opinion, there are more merits for
children
using smart devices. I will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
of the positive and negative developments of
this
topic. First of all,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
is well known that
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
could be a useful way to educate
children
without controlling by
parents
. There are so many sources and educational materials on online
flatforms
Correct your spelling
platforms
show examples
that
children
can enjoy and learn
themselves
Change preposition
from themselves
show examples
. It
also
could be said that smart
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
could be helpful for busy
parents
like working moms or single
parents
.
Moreover
, by using
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
children
can interact with their friends regardless of location and time.
This
also
means that
children
could make a bond with other people with developed technology.
For instance
, during the world
pendemic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
endemic
,
Children
couldn't go outside and hang out with their friends directly.
However
, thanks to
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
, they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
communicate with their friends
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anywhere, anytime. From
this
point of view,
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
could be used in a good way to build relationships and
educating
Wrong verb form
educate
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
very young
children
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
parents
directly and
also
make
physical
Correct article usage
a physical
show examples
bond.
In other words
, if
children
spend more time with
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
than their
parents
, the
children
will rely on
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
more which leads to losing
ccommunication
Correct your spelling
communication
with their
parents
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
demerits of using smartphones
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
occur
Verb problem
cause
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
addiction. Addiction to
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
is very difficult to handle after it once happened. Like
this
, there are
also
negative points of
children
using smart devices.
Mentioned
Correct word choice
As mentioned
show examples
above, it seems like using
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
has more effective and
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
points for
children
. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would like to say if
children
can control
of using
Verb problem
their
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
by themselves well,
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
would be a great teacher for them.
Submitted by ruanmystic on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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