IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and insterets whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #insterets
A number of
people
 believe that asking
people
 about their personal
information
 like their hobbies, interest and status is necessary for employers when
people
 apply for jobs. Others,
however
, think that
this
data
 is not relevant and useful.
Although
 for
applying
Add the preposition
forapplying
show examples
 a new job without personal
information
 is possible, I consider that individuals can create their own comfortable working space, if they apply their CV with their personal
information
.
On the other hand
, requiring someone's personal
data
 by the
company
 is not allowed by legal, when
people
 give requests for
working
Add the preposition
forworking
show examples
 their
company
. One of the disadvantages is that the
company
's headers may share their staff's personal
information
 to deal with other companies, which means other groups may use their
information
 for customer's interest or other research without permission.
For instance
, small businesses tend to buy the public's personal statistics to use their
data
 in making advertisements and selling their products.
However
, the possibility of
this
 kind of illegal thing occurring is much less than we expected. One benefit of giving them
information
 about their hobby and interest help them to work with same-minded
people
. It means that the employees of that community can work full of motivation and get comfy and satisfying feelings
while
 they are working, and it leads to an increase in great numbers of profits for the
company
.
For example
, in recent years, the majority of companies are likely to provide their staff with their consumptions,
such
 as buying tennis tables for them to break their work for a
while
.
This
 is because the
information
 from CVs helps a lot to the headers of the
company
 to make a comfortable environment for their employees.
To conclude
, some
individuals'
Change noun form
individuals
show examples
 perspectives are agreed with giving private
information
 to employers is not helpful and relevant but others disagree about
this
 statement.
Although
 the first statement may lead to crime related to personal
data
, I believe that the drawbacks do not outweigh the benefits.
Submitted by gnandin25 on

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