IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that museums’ main function is to educate people, the others suggest that they can also serve for entertainment purposes. What is your opinion?

#people #museums’ #function #entertainment #purposes
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Introduction
Aging
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Ageing
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 is both crucial and inevitable part of
process
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the process
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 of living.
Last
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The last
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 couple of decades we observe
rising
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a rising
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in
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apply
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the numbers
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numbers
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number
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 of older people.
This
 shift in
demographical
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the demographical
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 pyramid put pressure on us as
the
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a
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 society to develop new ways and approaches to interact with past generations and psychological aspects of
aging
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ageing
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 ought to be taken into account by authorities and scientific agencies. Our survey was aiming at providing sufficient materials on the mentioned theme Feeling about
aging
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ageing
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 The main point outlined in our whole work, provided by the overwhelming proportion of correspondents in each age group, is fear of upcoming withering of your physical abilities,
decline
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the decline
a decline
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 in mental activity
as well as
 reduction of social interactions. Surprisingly, the fear of death and/or disability was claimed as not the main, but the second issue concerning modern dwellers. What is more, the latter fact is felt as more disturbing to mature male rural dwellers. We see the reason for the mentioned factors prevailing in answers
in
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is
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low
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the low
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 inclusiveness of the most experienced representatives of our society in local and global processes. What means are needed to solve the current problem will be provided below What is to be changed In
discussion
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the discussion
a discussion
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 of our scientific
paper
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,paper
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 we put forward
initiative
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an initiative
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 with
purpose
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the purpose
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 to exterminate
gap
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the gap
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 between so-called boomers and other social groups.
Due to
 involvement in social work and redistribution of
responsibilities
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,responsibilities
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 we will be able to integrate them and change dramatically attitudes towards them In conclusion I am grateful to the HQ of
agency
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the agency
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 for material support and believe that
findings
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the findings
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 of our work will be valuable not only for
local
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the local
a local
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 community
,
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apply
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 but for our country
in
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as
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whole
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the whole
a whole
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Submitted by dulskywork on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tangible connection
  • historical artifacts
  • multimedia presentations
  • hands-on learning
  • ignite curiosity
  • cultural significance
  • interactive exhibits
  • engaging workshops
  • adapt to diverse audience
  • traditional education means
  • tourist attraction
  • local economy
  • educational institutions
  • entertainment value
What to do next:
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