some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities .Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required .Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

In today’s society , it is often argued that the best method to enhance public

health

Use synonyms

is by increasing the number of

sports

Use synonyms

facilities .

However

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

believe that

this

Linking Words

would have little impact on public

health

Use synonyms

and think that other measures should be required .

This

Linking Words

essay will analyse two perspectives and give my opinion . On the one hand , it is obvious that the most effective way to improve public

health

Use synonyms

is by increasing

many

Correct article usage

the many

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities as

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

as the government can afford .

This

Linking Words

is because nowadays ,

people

Use synonyms

are living in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

era in which technology and artificial intelligence are constantly developing so citizens think that their

health

Use synonyms

can be protected only with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advanced medicine and state-of-the-art technology .

As a result

Linking Words

, more and more

people

Use synonyms

are underestimating the importance of

excersing

Correct your spelling

exercising

exceeding

on a daily basis which can give rise to the development of many diseases

such

Linking Words

as obesity ,cardiovascular and heart disease .Undoubtedly, they can easily catch a cold or even carry a

health

Use synonyms

risk

as a result

Linking Words

of not spending enough time working out .Needless to say , it is urgent that governments should allocate

budget

Correct article usage

a budget

show examples

for the construction of many

these

Change preposition

of these

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

gyms and spread the message that individuals should exercise

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

by going to these places because of the value it brings to

people

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as enhancing one’s immune system so that they can stay healthier day by day .

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

true that if

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

just only give priority

Change preposition

show examples

spending money on building up many

sports

Use synonyms

material , it could have a marginal influence on public

health

Use synonyms

.One justification for

this

Linking Words

issue is that in

this

Linking Words

modern age,

people

Use synonyms

can not have enough time to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their to-do list let alone

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

to the gyms to stretch out because of the hectic pace of life and heavy workloads.

This

Linking Words

has prevented

people

Use synonyms

from spending their time on many activities which are beneficial to their

health

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

day and age,

people

Use synonyms

can easily

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

exercise at their home because they have many essential gymnastic devices to work out in their home , so there is no need for increasing the number of

sports

Use synonyms

facilities.The authority should adopt other measures as well with a view to developing citizens’

health

Use synonyms

. In conclusion , I strongly believe that despite doing

sports

Use synonyms

can help individuals to enhance their

health

Use synonyms

because of the advantages it brings to them , only taking

sports

Use synonyms

is not enough ,

Add an article

the

show examples

government should introduce other measures which can meet the demand of the community and can adapt flexibly to the changes of society in order to improve the public well-being in the long run.

bobong120906

Feb 7, 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

454 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
chronic diseases
preventative care
obesity
physical activity
health initiatives
health education campaigns
social interaction
mental wellbeing
motivation
accessible venues
active lifestyle
quality healthcare
community hubs
multipronged approach

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some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities .Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required .Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email: * give details of the purchase * explain the problem * explain why you need a replacement urgently

"Many people believe that reducing the income gap between the rich and the poor can lead to a happier society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?