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Band 4.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
Recently, some companies assert that
their
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the
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products
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they produce, are totally modern and beneficial. As far as I am concerned,
drawbacks
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the drawbacks
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 outweigh
benefits
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the benefits
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 which I will demonstrate in the following essay. First and foremost, companies are aimed to make a high demand and try to force people to buy
Add an article
a product
the product
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 to have a profitable deal. A very good example is, apple brand, every year
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
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new
Add an article
a new
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 version of
iPhone
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the iPhone
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 that have variety
added
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of added
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 facilities and is secure anywhere and anytime. What is more, reputable brands have
sense
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a sense
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 of competition in the market, so their target is to have a noticeable proportion of
retails
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retail
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.
For instance
,
in
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on
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 black Friday most
brand
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brands
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 offer
deep
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a deep
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discount
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discounts
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 to have a considerable
costumer
Correct your spelling
customer
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,
therefore
, when citizens buy a well-known and high-quality brand with strong service, a huge company competition will make through
this
 retail.
However
, I believe that
this
 advertising has more negative
point
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points
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 rather than merits.
Firstly
, children may get negative feedback from advertising, as they influence simply through
products
 that probably seem more harmful and useless
for
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to
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 them,
thus
, they put
they
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their
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 parents under pressure
due to
 the fact that
,
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apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
they pursuit
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pursuit
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pursue
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 them to get goods at any cost.
For instance
, if a
5-years-old
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5-year-old
 child
see
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sees
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 a profitable toy on Tv frequently, if he or she nags and yells at
father
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the father
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 to buy the toy
finally
, the child will be considered
as
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apply
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a spoiled child and an appropriate upbringing process will be demolished.
Moreover
, unrecycled commercial
products
, which we do not really need or never used and are bought without purpose, definitely can be destroyed the environment.
In other words
, these materials end up in landfills and
Correct article usage
the eco-system
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eco-system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
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 will be polluted.
In addition
, people who can not afford to buy
modern
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a modern
the modern
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 and high-tech
gadget
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gadgets
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,
for example
, may feel overwhelmed and
hopelessness
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hopeless
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,
as a consequence
, we will have an unfair
an
Correct your spelling
and
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 inequality society that some do not meet secondary needs and do not have life satisfaction as well. In conclusion, it is crystal clear that
,
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apply
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 companies produce their
products
 in
different
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a different
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way
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ways
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, as they will make
profit
Add an article
a profit
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 and create
a
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apply
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high demand, it is human responsibility to preserve the planet because nowadays most profitable goods are unrecycled and have a serious effect on the environment.
Submitted by hameddallali on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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