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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six computer science subjects at a US university in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six computer science subjects at a US university in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph given illustrates
Correct article usage
the
show examples
numbers
Use synonyms
 of male and female research
students
Use synonyms
 studying six computer
science
Use synonyms
 subjects at a US university in 2011.
overall
Linking Words
, each category shows several features. First of all, in the case of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, the subject that the
larstest
Correct your spelling
largest
Use synonyms
students
Correct quantifier usage
number of students
show examples
 took was natural
science
Use synonyms
, the figure was 200
students
Use synonyms
, and there are followed by
psychoogy
Correct your spelling
psychology
,
this
Linking Words
rates
Change the determiner
rate
show examples
 was roughly 180. the
subjecft
Correct your spelling
subject
Change preposition
of thalinguistics
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thalinguistics
Correct your spelling
the linguistics
, engineering, programming,
mathematics
Correct word choice
and mathematics
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
approximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 100, 90, 80,
40
Correct word choice
and 40
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 respectively. When it comes to male, the
students
Use synonyms
 taking psychology, natural
science
Use synonyms
 and mathematics was equal, these figures
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 200 student, these are followed by engineering and programming subject. its figure was 150 as same
numbers
Use synonyms
. Linguistics was the least number of
studying
Replace the word
studies
show examples
 in computer
science
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the biggest
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 took psychology,
natural
Correct word choice
and natural
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 subjects, but the least
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 took mathematics and linguistics
each
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, it was
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
each
Change preposition
from each
show examples
 other.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers, students, science with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "numbers of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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