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Band 5.5

should human adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Discuss both views and give your point.

#technology #point
Nowadays,
technology
 becomes
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
 in human life. Some
people
 say that
technology
 could make
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 to be more intelligent, but others say the opposite, that
technology
 brings
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
intellectual
Replace the word
intellect
show examples
 to be
more weak
Replace the words
weaker
show examples
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will give
explanation
Add an article
an explanation
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 two views and give examples.
To begin
 with, from the first view, we could say that, in order to
invented
Change the verb
invent
show examples
 a new
technology
,
people
 should
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 research for
years
, including
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
journals and
paper
Fix the agreement mistake
papers
show examples
. They
also
 have to design the
technology
 and test them before
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
Add a missing verb
is launch
show examples
launch
Change the verb form
launches
show examples
.
For instance
, the first computer that
invented
Add a missing verb
was invented
show examples
years
 ago was as big as a bedroom,
however
, after
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 studied for decades, they
finally
 can make it smaller
as
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 it is now.
That
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
means they learned a lot to
invented
Wrong verb form
invent
show examples
 something new.
Next,
it forces
people
 to
adaptive
Replace the word
adapt
show examples
. As
technology
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 more advance,
people
 have to learn how to operate it.
For example
, the electric car that completely different to
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 one.
People
 who buy it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will learn how to operate it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and explore more what that car could do. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shows that
people
 will learn something and become more intelligent.
On the other hand
,
technology
also
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 us intellectually weaker.
First,
technology
 can do anything for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. 50
years
 ago
people
 have to do anything manually,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes them do and think more.
For example
, to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homework students in
this
 era just need to google it and everything would be there. They do not have to read a book or even solve
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own math
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 with formulas, and it could bring
lazyness
Correct your spelling
laziness
 to them.
Second,
as
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 rely more
to
Change the preposition
on
upon
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
, they reduce
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 thinking in
everday
Correct your spelling
everyday
 life. Something that they know would be faded by
technology
.
For instance
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
farm
Add an article
the farm
a farm
show examples
, the farmers could tell the
rippeness
Correct your spelling
ripeness
 of the fruit by looking
or
Change preposition
at or
show examples
 touching it
years
 ago. But now since they harvesting by high
technology
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation's
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
 could not have that ability anymore.
To conclude
, human should adapt to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 because it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 more intelligent by
research
Wrong verb form
researching
show examples
 it and
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them more
ability
Replace the word
able
show examples
 to operate it.
Submitted by emailduringexcersice on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adaptation
  • advantages
  • challenges
  • technological advancements
  • dependency
  • integration
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • communication
  • knowledge
  • skills
  • creativity
  • limitation
  • innovation
  • automation
  • artificial intelligence
  • cognitive abilities
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