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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below show how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below show how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given picture illustrates the process of
electricity
Use synonyms
 production by geothermal energy. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that
this
Linking Words
 production process involves several steps beginning with cold
water
Use synonyms
 being put into a thick pipe under the ground, followed by the
water
Use synonyms
 going through a geothermal zone, and ,
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
,finally
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 is transported to a power line tower from a generator.
Firstly
Linking Words
, cold
water
Use synonyms
 in a container is put into a 4.5km pipe in length, and it reaches the injection well made underground by flowing through the long pipe.
Then
Linking Words
, the cold
water
Use synonyms
 goes through the geothermal zone which is
also
Linking Words
 called hot rocks. After going through
this
Linking Words
 stage, the cold
water
Use synonyms
 changes into hot
water
Use synonyms
, and the hot
water
Use synonyms
 is pumped up by the production well, and
then
Linking Words
 it is sent to a condenser, where the hot
water
Use synonyms
 is made into steam.
Next,
Linking Words
the steam supplies power to a turbine, and the powered turbine activates a generator that
finally
Linking Words
 produces
electricity
Use synonyms
. In the final step, the
electricity
Use synonyms
 made by the generator is delivered to consumers going through a power line tower.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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