IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that boys and girls should be educated in the same schools. Others, however, believe that girls achieve better results when educated in singgle-sex schools. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#people #boys #girls #schools #results #singgle-sex
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It
is commonly argue
Change the verb form
is commonly argued
show examples
 that boys and
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
 must be educated in the same
school
Use synonyms
.
Other argument
Change the wording
Another argument
Other arguments
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, some people argue that in single-sex
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 girls have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
.
Students
Use synonyms
 in single-sex
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
better
Add a missing verb
do better
show examples
 in education because they just
focus
Use synonyms
 in
study
Use synonyms
 without
romance
Use synonyms
 and
probability
Correct article usage
the probability
show examples
 of sexual harassment. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain both views
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the argument. On the one hand, the statement about boys and
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
 must in the same
school
Use synonyms
 because it can advance
confidence
Use synonyms
 and communication.
Mixed
Add a hyphen
Mixed-gender
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 make
students
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 enjoy
to communicate
Change the verb form
communicating
show examples
 with each other. They know how to communicate better
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 their
confidence
Use synonyms
. It is important if they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
graduate from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because communication dan
confidence
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 important for
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 university or when they are working. They can easily understand instructions from
lecture
Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
show examples
 or
boss
Fix the agreement mistake
bosses
show examples
,
furthermore
Linking Words
 with their
confidence
Use synonyms
 it
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 helpful for presentation in the class or in front of the client.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
single-sex
school
Use synonyms
 have
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 in their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
. The main reason
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement are student
focus
Use synonyms
 on their lesson without
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
interruption
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 other like
romance
Use synonyms
 and minimalize sexual
harrasemnt
Correct your spelling
harassment
 and bullying from
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
single-sex
school
Use synonyms
 have
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
show examples
 chance than
mixed
Add a hyphen
mixed-gender
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 have
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of time for
study
Use synonyms
 and more
focus
Use synonyms
. They don’t think about
romance
Use synonyms
 or getting
Change preposition
into relationship
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
. Their environment minimalize bullying and sexual harassment. So,
single-sex
Correct article usage
a single-sex
show examples
school
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the most appropriate choice if
students
Use synonyms
serious
Add a missing verb
are serious
show examples
 about their education.
To conclude
Linking Words
, mixed-
gender
Use synonyms
 and single-sex
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 have different
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
, mixed-
gender
Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
 increase
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
communication
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
 and
confidence
Use synonyms
.
The single-sex
Correct article usage
Single-sex
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 make
students
Use synonyms
 more
Use synonyms
focus
Replace the word
focused
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 studying because they don’t have
interruption
Fix the agreement mistake
interruptions
show examples
 about
romance
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 less probability
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 sexual
harrasment
Correct your spelling
harassment
 and bullying.
Submitted by muh.yassirullah on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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