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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #changes #birth #death #rates #zealand #features #comparisons
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The picture provides
Correct article usage
a figure
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figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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 about demographic changes in New Zealand over a hundred-year period. The
birth
Use synonyms
 line is higher than the
death
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 line before 2041. In 1901
birth
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rate
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 is higher than the
death
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rate
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of
Change preposition
by
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 about 10%.And
birth
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rate
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 continue to increase and reach a peak of about 65% in 1961.In the same year, we have the biggest gap of about 40%. In 1981 the
birth
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rate
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 go down for one year and recovered
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 year. The
birth
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rate
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 only goes down since 2001, and
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
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 the same in 2041. the
death
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rate
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 steadily increases before 2001. Since the
death
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rate
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 increases faster than before and
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
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 the highest point at almost 60% in 2061, by
then
Linking Words
 the
death
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rate
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 is higher than the
birth
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rate
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 of about 15%.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, death, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "go down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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