Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#colleges #students #businesses #school #outweigh

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It is a common belief that learners should begin a business

while

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they are studying.

However

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, there is a persuasive argument that starting a career brings more disadvantages than its benefits,

due to

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the time required for the job, stress, and hard to have good performance at college. On the one hand, participating in trading at an early age helps students put their ideas into practice and receive many unexpected benefits.

To begin

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with, the scholars can compete with other businesses and apply what they have studied.

In other words

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, they can face up with many

reality

Replace the word

real

show examples

problems or situations which can not be studied at college.

Moreover

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, gaining experience from success or failure is useful for their future career .

For example

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, numerous researchers show that students who start commercials when they were studying at school may become successful sooner than others.

Moreover

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, their job may be convenient because of various experiences from starting a

carrer

Correct your spelling

career

early.

Nevertheless

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, the students may suffer from plenty of drawbacks if they do not know how to balance studying at the university. Business requires too much time from themselves

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Correct word choice

and as

show examples

a result they can get bad marks if not spending enough effort

to study

Change the verb form

studying

show examples

Furthermore

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, several mental problems

such

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as stress, overloading and exhaustion

due to

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overthinking.

For instance

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, there are a lot of people who can not graduate college or need to spend a great deal of money to study again.

Therefore

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, it wastes their hour, money, and effort,

although

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the result is not good.

To sum up

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while

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joining commercial brings undergraduates various advantages and relatives which may be useful, it is undeniable that they should harmony with studying and joining commercial.

Submitted by duongducanh06 on Wed Feb 08 2023

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
advantages
outweigh
disadvantages
real-world experience
practical skills
entrepreneurial mindset
creativity
financial independence
job opportunities
personal growth
professional growth
lack of focus
academic
financial risks
uncertainties
negative impact
grades
difficulty balancing
responsibilities
overall opinion
conclusion

What to do next:

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Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

School should not force students who do not have natural ability for learning foreign language to study other language at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the word. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

in today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantage of owwning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantage?

Some businesses find that their new employees lack basic interpersonal skills such as cooperative attitude. What are the reasons and suggest some possible solutions?