Films and computer games containing violence are popular. Some people say they have negative effect on society and should be banned. Others say they are just harmless relaxation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Movies
and computer
games
that have
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
content are the most favoured
Add the comma(s)
, my people,
show examples
my
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
people these days. Many
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
that these
action
Replace the word
activities
show examples
should be prohibited ,
while
others disagree.
This
essay will try to elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
argument
Change to a plural noun
arguments
show examples
and give
writer's
Correct article usage
the writer's
show examples
point of view First and foremost, there are many kinds of popular
movies
and online
games
that have
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
content these days, even superhero
movies
.
For example
, Iron Man, Spiderman, or Free Fire online
games
, all of these contains many disturbing scenes. Scenes when the hero fights against the villain
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
example,
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
many physical actions, that hurt each other, and if the kids see that, they will think
that is
the right way to protect people,
while
it is not. There are many other ways, that can be done and not use violence.
Moreover
, the scenes are
also
full of blood or other injuries, which can make the kids feel traumatic.
On the other hand
, both action
movies
and
games
have a good story behind
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. It can teach many
morale
Correct your spelling
moral
show examples
value
Change to a plural noun
values
show examples
to our kids,
for example
, that we must fight for the weak, and learn to protect ourselves in the future. These values
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
become the main point for others, that they
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
or
games
, only for fun and stress relieving.
While
watching the
highlight
Change the verb form
highlighted
show examples
part of the movie, they will feel the adrenaline
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and the emotion.
Furthermore
, they feel that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
this
Change the determiner
this movie
these movies
show examples
movies
or playing online
games
, can help them to release
stree
Correct your spelling
stress
from work, and some activities to do in their leisure time. In conclusion,
although
so many
movies
and
games
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provides many disturbing
scene
Change to a plural noun
scenes
show examples
, they are just for fun, and not
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real action that can be applied in our life.
Thats
Correct your spelling
That's
why,
Correct article usage
the writer
show examples
writer
Fix the agreement mistake
writers
show examples
disagree
if
Correct word choice
that
show examples
those
movies
and
games
prohibited
Add a missing verb
are prohibited
show examples
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • empathy
  • aggressive behavior
  • normalization of violence
  • explicit content
  • mature audiences
  • societal well-being
  • content restrictions
  • fictional violence
  • stress relief
  • personal consequences
  • outlet
  • pent-up emotions
  • censorship
  • freedom of expression
  • artistic expression
  • storytelling
  • parental guidance
  • negative impacts
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