IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries ,there are many social problems involving teenagers .this is because parents spend much of their time at work not at home .Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #teenagers #parents #time #work #home
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In recent years,
due to
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 the increasing workload on
Use synonyms
parents
Add a comma
,parents
show examples
 they are unable to spend some time with their
children
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,
hence
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, it leads
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
 social problems for
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
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. In my opinion, I agree that
children
Use synonyms
 are
felling
Correct your spelling
feeling
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 alone and can migrate into
dangerous
Add an article
a dangerous
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with,
busy
Correct article usage
the busy
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life
Use synonyms
 of
parents
Use synonyms
 always
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
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 far them from their
children
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 which leads to loneliness. In starting days of
chlidhood
Correct your spelling
childhood
 always recommend
to enjoy
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enjoying
show examples
 and
company
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the company
a company
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 of others
whuch
Correct your spelling
which
 create
a
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an
show examples
 environment for them where they can live happily and grow more but
this
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 burden of work
do
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does
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 not give a chance to
parents
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 to spend some time with them ,so, they get suffer
Change preposition
from mentally
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mentally
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mental
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 disorder. For
instane
Correct your spelling
instance
,
Tarre
Correct your spelling
Tare
 zameen par, is
Correct article usage
a bollywood
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bollywood
Change the capitalization
Bollywood
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 movie reveals that same story of
child
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a child
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 who always
get
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gets
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irritate
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irritated
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 as he has no one who can play and talk with him. Moving
further
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, 17-18 years is
peak
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the peak
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 age of
life
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 when
children
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 have to decide regarding their future and because of not highly seasoned they can take
wrong
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a wrong
the wrong
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 decision ,
thus
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, it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
a big problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
big problems
a big problem
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 for their
life
Use synonyms
 and
faimly
Correct your spelling
family
 and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 it is very difficult for them to move back. For
instace
Correct your spelling
instance
, Abdul kasaab, was
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 biggest terrorist and he was suffering from
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
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problem
and
Correct word choice
apply
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he took
a
Correct article usage
the
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 wrong step
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 17 years old ,
as a result
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, hanged on
rope
Add an article
a rope
show examples
. To recapitulate, teenagers always demand
Correct article usage
the guidence
show examples
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their
parents
Use synonyms
otherwise
Linking Words
 it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 some big issues for them .
Submitted by raiinderdeep on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social problems
  • teenagers
  • parental absence
  • work-life balance
  • parental guidance
  • peer influence
  • independence
  • community support
  • government initiatives
  • tackle
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