The graph shows unemployment rates and average earnings according to level of education.

#unemployment #rates #earnings #level #education

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The bar diagram illustrates the relationship between academic qualification and

and

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

employment and

also

Linking Words

compares the proportion of jobless people and their incomes in terms of their degrees.

Overall

Linking Words

, graduates are highly paid and

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

job seekers

Linking Words

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

others who cannot complete their university level.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the rate of unemployment is massive among High School degree

holders

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

they are the least wage earners. To start with, the two-degree

holders

Use synonyms

who earn more than others are University and college pass outs.

Whereas

Linking Words

2.5% of College degree

holders

Use synonyms

are employed and earn 1100 USD per week, 1.29% of graduates are involved in jobs and income 1500 USD

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a week.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the rate is significantly lower among the students of some colleges and high

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

pass outs. First of all, 4.2 0% of students

Change preposition

show examples

some colleges are jobless and their weekly incomes

Add a missing verb

are.

show examples

are around 675 American Dollars.

Finally

Linking Words

, High School degree

holders

Use synonyms

are paid $600,

although

Linking Words

5.50%

people

Change preposition

of people

show examples

among them are looking for

employments

Fix the agreement mistake

employment

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

, people who have University degrees are mostly working and earn more than others.

Submitted by rishi.seehra on Thu Feb 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words holders with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

▼

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

185 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.
Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.
6.5
band
In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?
Whereas some individuals are against practising basic tasks such as commercial operations and work, through Internet, another group support this advancement. This essay strongly believes that internet advancement should be welcomed as, it can help us to save time and extra costs related to transportation when people practice basic tasks. On top of that, it allows to provide access to essential activities around the world, even in rural and remote areas, making the opportunities more equitable for everyone.
6.5
band
Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Although it is sometimes thought that schools ought to teach children to compete, other people believe that the focus should be on cooperation. In my opinion, I consider that competition helps children learn the most important skills for their future life.
8
band
Nowadays, advertisement targeting children is on the rise. Some people think that it has a negative impact and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?
Since the expansion of media, one of its main usages has been advertisement. The adverts target all age groups including some of the more vulnerable ones, such as children. Many believe that all advertisements targeting them should be excluded from all platforms. This seems to be the correct line of action as the effects of such programmes on children are much deeper than on adults.
6.5
band
Smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services. One way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. What are the pros and cons of such a government policy? What alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking?
The enormous consumption of healthcare resources and the loss of life could be attributed to smoking. One way of combating this trend is to prohibit the usage. The benefit of making smoking unlawful is that, it will enable smokers to stop the routine. I would suggest that the authorities should enforce strict laws such as imprisonment for anyone found guilty. However, there may be drawbacks to be taken into account.

The graph shows unemployment rates and average earnings according to level of education.

Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.

In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, advertisement targeting children is on the rise. Some people think that it has a negative impact and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services. One way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. What are the pros and cons of such a government policy? What alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking?