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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar
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Some
people
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 do not understand that our body has limits on every nutrient and it causes the number of
people
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 suffering from diabetes and obesity in the world significantly increase every year. In fact, fabricated foods and beverages contain a lot of
sugar
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 and carbohydrate that we don’t actually need are could be found in many marketplaces. I totally agree that sugary foods and beverages should be made pricier to help
people
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 go out from
sugar
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 addiction. For the information, in a day,
people
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 just need no more than 9 teaspoons (36
grams
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) or 150 calories of
sugar
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. Meanwhile, it is written in the nutrition facts of manufactured
products
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 contain approximately 15
grams
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 of
sugar
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. If
people
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 consume 2
products
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 in 24 hours, their body just needs 6
grams
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 more and it’s not possible to have just 6
grams
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 from our meal. Society doesn’t look at nutrition facts seriously and is influenced by an advertisement that encourages
people
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 to consume more and more. Eventually, it increased the feeling of being drowsy for a whole day as an effect of consuming
sugar
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 excessively. To prevent and stop
this
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 habit, the government should make a regulation for the price of sugary
products
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. Many
people
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 are able to buy sweets because
besides
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 it's easy to find, it is
also
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 sold at a cheap price. If it sells inexpensive price,
people
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 will consider not buying it.
Furthermore
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, the government can give socialization
of
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apply
show examples
the
people
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 about the danger of sugary
products
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 to
people
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’s health so they will be aware of their foods and drinks for health reasons. In conclusion, I suppose that
sugar
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 is one of the important fibres to our health but it has a limit on it.
Thus
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, we should be more concerned about our daily
sugar
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 takes to prevent diabetes and obesity, and it will occur if the government take some policy against sugary
products
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 and educate the public
according to
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 the danger of high-
sugar
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products
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.
Submitted by regina.christella7 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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