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Band 4

People should only concentrate on a single skill for life because it is the best way to succeed. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #skill #life
In the 20th century, commuting is
one
 of the crucial aspects of the development of the
city
. A long
time
 ago
people
 usually worked nearby their house, right now,
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of
worked
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
 is tending to be concentrated in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
city
.
People
 from supporting areas or
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the edge of
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
transporting
Replace the word
transport
show examples
 daily to their place of
worked
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
. If a
city
 does not possess good infrastructure for commuting many
minor
Change to a plural noun
minors
show examples
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 major problems could
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
occur
Therefore
, infrastructure to
makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 commuting more efficient is necessary for the
city
.
One
 of the
idea
Change to a plural noun
ideas
show examples
 to solve
this
 problem is by creating
plenty
Add an article
the plenty
a plenty
show examples
 amount of
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
show examples
 in the
central
Replace the word
center
show examples
 of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 bunch of
people
 who usually have a long
time
 spent
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelling to work could be reduced. They argue if
this
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 the productivity of the labour in the
city
 could be increased dramatically. On the other side, the
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 suggestion is the building in the
central
Replace the word
center
show examples
 of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
is already have
Change the verb form
already have
show examples
 high density and
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
city
 should
sacrificed
Change the verb form
sacrifice
show examples
 some buildings for creating an apartment.
One
 of the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
loud
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
show examples
 is to sacrifice
parks
 and
gardens
 close to the
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 for apartments.
This
 movement has many flaws because
gardens
 and
parks
 have important roles
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
city
.
For instance
,
parks
 and
gardens
 could be
a modes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a mode
modes
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 in the
city
 to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 exercise and breath fresh air.
Moreover
, some
gardens
 and
parks
also
 play
role
Add an article
a role
the role
show examples
 as drainage to a
city
. By removing those
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
, flood and health issues in the
city
 definitely will be inflated. In conclusion,
although
 by removing
parks
 and
gardens
 close to the
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 with buildings
apartments
Correct word choice
and apartments
show examples
 for commuters could escalate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 productivity. The side effects of doing
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 severe for a
city
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parks
 and
gardens
 play
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 role as well. To reduce the
time
 spent
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelling to work the author suggest
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the government rather than removing the
gardens
 and
parks
 for
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
the apartment
show examples
,
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should
enhanced
Change the verb form
enhance
show examples
 the speed of our public transportation.
One
 of the most feasible things to do is upgrade our train speed which right now only
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 100 km/h speed to the bullet train that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 400km/h speed. By doing that, we can cut down the
time
 spent of doing commuting without removing the
gardens
 and
parks
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
city
.
Submitted by muhamadhaikal128 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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