IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

modern scientist need specialist in certain fields not in others. some people think that government should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

#scientist #specialist #fields #people #government #university #fees #students #study #subjects #society #policy
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Due to
Linking Words
 the expertise in some fields
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 crucial, plenty of debates happened in the public
whether
Change preposition
about whether
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 the government should dismiss their funds to
students
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 who studied less relevant
subjects
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 and
focused
Wrong verb form
focus
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 on
students
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 that studied
subjects
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, which has more
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
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to
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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. In
this
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 essay, the author will analyze the cost and benefit of
this
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 policy suggestion.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
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, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 certain
of
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apply
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students
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 that
does
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do
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 not have good consideration before choosing a major that they want to
study
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a student could choose
irrelevant
Correct article usage
an irrelevant
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 major for him merely because they think it will be piece of cake for them to
study
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in
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apply
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there.
This
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 phenomenon could
caused
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cause
be caused
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 a negative impact
to
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because when they joined into the
labor
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labour
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 market, their skillset would be insufficient and it will
inflated
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inflate
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 the unemployment rate. On the other side,
students
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 who
study
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in
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apply
show examples
more relevant
subjects
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 are more competitive
on
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in
show examples
 the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 market. The relevant
subjects
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 that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 chose often lead to adding
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 relevant skillset to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
society
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society's
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 needs. Because of that, the graduated
students
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 in relevant
subjects
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 will have
an positive effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive effect
positive effects
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to
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on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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,
due to
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their
Replace the word
there
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 could
fulfilled
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fulfil
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
society
Change noun form
society's
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 needs.
Furthermore
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, the scarcity of graduated
students
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 from relevant
subjects
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 potential to
creating
Wrong verb form
create
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social
Add an article
a social
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 catastrophe. In conclusion,
students
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 who studied
in
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apply
show examples
relevant
subjects
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 are more
beneficial
Replace the word
benefit
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 than the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 who
not
Add a missing verb
did not
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.
Government
Add an article
The government
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 could not just
neglected
Change the verb form
neglect
show examples
 the student that
study
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somethings
Correct your spelling
some things
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considerated
Correct your spelling
considered
considerate
 as
least
Correct article usage
the least
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 relevant
subjects
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. Any
subjects
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 that the university
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been provided
is still have
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still have
show examples
 a duty or role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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different proportions. The things
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
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 less relevant
subjects
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 or more relevant
subjects
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 both are important to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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, but maybe the demand for
graduated
Replace the word
graduates
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 from relevant
subjects
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 higher. To hastily removed the fund for less important
subjects
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 we believe are not the wisest things to do and have more disadvantages. So in
this
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 case, the author
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
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instead
Linking Words
 of removing the funds for
less
Add an article
a less
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 relevant subject, the government should just reallocate the proportion of funding that more leaned to the
subjects
Use synonyms
 that
society
Use synonyms
 more needed.
Submitted by muhamadhaikal128 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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