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Band 5

Films and computer games containing violence are popular. Some people say they have negative effect on society and should be banned. Others say they are just harmless relaxation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#films #computer #games #violence #people #effect #society #relaxation
In recent years,
people
's
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
films
 or computer
games
 contained violence. There are two approaches
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 type of
movies
Fix the agreement mistake
movie
show examples
 and
electronics
Replace the word
electronic
show examples
games
. One of them is
dangerous
Correct article usage
a dangerous
show examples
 effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the population and
that is
 why they should be blocked and
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 of them is
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
helped
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
decrease stress. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
 and I am totally agreeing with the
people
 who
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
dangerous and there would be
restriction
Add an article
a restriction
the restriction
show examples
. On the one hand, nowadays
people
overloaded
Add a missing verb
are overloaded
show examples
 with
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and there are big strict rules in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies. If workers are late or can't
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do
Add an article
the task
a task
show examples
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
due
Correct article usage
the due
show examples
 date it will affect their performance evaluation and
according to
 their salaries. After the hard work days or work
weeks
Add a comma
,weeks
show examples
people
 enjoyed
to watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
films
 or
to play
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
games
. A lot of
people
 prefer to watch or to play
this
 kind of film or game and they said that it helped to be more
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
content
Add an article
the content
show examples
 of
films
 or
games
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 important.
Violence
Replace the word
Violent
show examples
 content is very dangerous and it has
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 effect on society essentially
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children.
For example
, it observed that after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
playing
this
 type of
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
show examples
 children acted very
aggressive
Change the word
aggressively
show examples
 with their parents, siblings, and their friends.
According to
, some countries apply age limitation to them.
For
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, it would be totally banned. Because these
films
 or
games
 affect
everyone
Change noun form
everyone's
show examples
 mental health. In conclusion, there are plenty of
ultraviolent
Correct your spelling
ultraviolet
show examples
films
 and computer
games
 and they are very easily accessible for everybody. Most have the same thought that they are dangerous and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 would be blocked. But somebody thinks
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 their opinion they are just
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resting
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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