IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the Olympic games no longer have a role to play in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

I would like to differ from
peoples
Change noun form
people's
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 opinion about
Use synonyms
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 no role in the 21st century.
This
Linking Words
 is a very debatable statement. I would like to put in my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 on why I disagree with the above statement. To start, generally involving in
games
Use synonyms
 either by participating or hosting one like
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
an Olympic game
Olympic games
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Olympic
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 is an indication of a developed
nation
Use synonyms
. It enhances the economic condition of the country. There would be
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of foreign investments required in building the infrastructure in the city and country. It allows the local talent and sportsperson to showcase their talent and skills.
This
Linking Words
 helps in employment
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and leverages a country to make a powerful impact on the global arena. It surely is a moment of pride for the
nation
Use synonyms
. But on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 flip side, it is equally or more challenging for a
nation
Use synonyms
 to organise
such
Linking Words
 an
event
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. First to identify
city
Add an article
the city
a city
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, gather and allocate
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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 to facilitate building the infrastructure which needs to be of a global standard. More important the cost involved in organising
such
Linking Words
 a mammoth
event
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 is exorbitant. There is
also
Linking Words
 a requirement to appoint a vigilant committee
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 will be responsible to ensure the effectiveness of the planning, execution and completion of the
event
Use synonyms
. It would be disastrous for a
nation
Use synonyms
 if there are not able to generate revenue after investing so much time and resources in hosting a global
event
Use synonyms
 like
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Olympic
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
. Pulling off
such
Linking Words
 an
event
Use synonyms
involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
show examples
 a lot of money and everyone involved would like to have a share of the pie.
This
Linking Words
 tarnishes the
event
Use synonyms
 and
nation
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, I am in agreement that
Use synonyms
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 are required and they play a pivotal role in showcasing the competitiveness
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the sportsperson and
brings
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
 nations closer.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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