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Writing Samples
Band 5

Should ordinary man be given the license to keep a revolver and gun?

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Keeping a weapon has still remained a debatable issue around the world. Few people are in favour
the
Change preposition
of the
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 ordinary man should have the right to keep a revolver for safety purposes,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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population
Change the wording
populations
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 think that it's not a good idea to keep a pistol by a layman as it poses danger to
community
Add an article
the community
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. I'll discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs with my opinion.
Firstly
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, I'll discuss the thoughts of
one
Use synonyms
 school who are on the side of keeping a revolver
by
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in
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general
Add an article
the general
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 world. The very first reason is
one
Use synonyms
's own safety. In
this
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 era, crime is increasing day by day. There are certain reasons for increasing crime, but it put everyone's life at threat. So, pupils should have a weapon like a gun to save themselves. The second reason is,
withholding
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by withholding
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 defensive equipment,
one
Use synonyms
 can protect their family
as well as
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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society
also
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.
Last
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 but not least, when
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 have
such
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 protective measures with them, criminals are even afraid to attack them, because in
this
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 way, they can even get hurt, so societies become safer to exist.
However
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, on the other side,
one
Use synonyms
 school of thought contend to bringing a revolver, as it has adverse effects
upon
Change preposition
on
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nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
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. Nowadays,
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 are more aggressive, so they can make misuse it. For small issues, they can use guns which will put human lives in danger.
Moreover
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, children are very innocent, they can put
their
Replace the word
there
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 and
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
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 lives at threat. They do not aware of its usage, and can just use it as a toy. Many a time,
this
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 news has been heard that parents are not at home, or busy with home chores, and children started playing with guns and unintentionally they shoot themselves. Apart from them, when everyone has easy access to
such
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 weapons, criminally minded folk
also
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 get them easily and do more harmful acts towards humanity. I would like
to conclude
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this
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 topic with my opinion that no doubt, keeping a shotgun acts as a double-edged sword, but the proper training and guidance by handgun issuing authorities results in safer use of it.
Furthermore
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, checking the criminal background of a person before providing a rifle license make the upholding of the gun a positive decision for civilization as a whole.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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