IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The number of people who are leaving to foreighn countries is increasing considerably. What are the advantages and disadvantages of gping abroad ?

#people #foreighn #countries
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Nowadays, people are
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 about making money. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people decided to leave their
country
Use synonyms
 to earn a sufficient income.
However
Linking Words
, there may be pros and cons.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the advantages and disadvantages of going abroad. There are several advantages of moving abroad.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, earning a lot of money is easier than in our
country
Use synonyms
. Because of
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
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 and taxes,
company
Add an article
the company
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 decided to pay low income for the employee. Another reason is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 low economy of the
nation
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, quality of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education is one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people decided to leave their
country
Use synonyms
. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
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, once they completed their 1st degree they prepare to study for
master's
Correct article usage
a master's
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 in a well reputed University in
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
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country
Use synonyms
 because of the quality
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 education
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 after pursuing
master's
Correct article usage
a master's
show examples
 students can able to work for 3 years in that
nation
Use synonyms
. These are the factors
made
Correct pronoun usage
that made
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 citizens
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
move from their
nation
Use synonyms
.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
 there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of pros
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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a few disadvantages of
leave
Change the verb form
leaving
show examples
 their
nation
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the primary
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is
home sickness
Correct your spelling
homesickness
show examples
. Once, they left their home they felt lonely because there is no one to console them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they are mentally disturbed,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
 get depressed
due to
Linking Words
 living a lonely life. Regarding
Add a comma
,weather
show examples
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 there may be
Add an article
a
show examples
vast
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 so we need some time to adapt
that
Change preposition
to that
show examples
 climate. These are the
demrits
Correct your spelling
demerits
 have to face if they
willing
Add a missing verb
are willing
show examples
 to leave their home. In conclusion,
This
Linking Words
 essay
is discussed
Change the verb form
has discussed
show examples
 the merits and demerits of moving to
a foreign countries
Correct the article-noun agreement
foreign countries
a foreign country
show examples
. Even though there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of benefits
while
Linking Words
 working
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad we need to ensure that we can
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 cultures and climatic conditions.
Submitted by santosh2001kk on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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