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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries,paying for things using mobile phone

#countries #phone
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These days a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 around the world tend to pay by using their cell
phones
Use synonyms
.There are many benefits of paying by using mobile applications ,
People
Use synonyms
 find that paying by their cellphones saves time for them,
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
,hand
show examples
phones
Use synonyms
 can be a target for
thieves
Use synonyms
. Currently,
People
Use synonyms
 believe that paying by using their
phones
Use synonyms
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 useful since it saves time for them,With the development of technology
people
Use synonyms
 depend on doing a lot of things using their
phones
Use synonyms
 including paying with it
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that it's more convenient because it can be done with just a click.Paying with mobile apps
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many negative consequences
such
Linking Words
 as making
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be less patient
thus
Linking Words
 they would not be able to wait every five minutes and that could affect the next generation. Mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 could be a target for
thieves
Use synonyms
 to steal
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.Paying by using smartphones can be a major issue for
people
Use synonyms
 ,
Phones
Use synonyms
 could be targeted by
thieves
Use synonyms
 since it's much easier to hack
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.The crime rate might be increased in the future
due to
Linking Words
thieves
Use synonyms
 stealing
people
Use synonyms
's mobile
phones
Use synonyms
. I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages since it's more convenient for
people
Use synonyms
 to pay faster. In conclusion,Paying by using mobile apps since it's more convenient for
people
Use synonyms
on the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
phones
Use synonyms
 could be a target for
thieves
Use synonyms
.I believe that the advantages of paying using mobile apps exceed the disadvantages
due to
Linking Words
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 useful
use
Add the particle
to use
show examples
. One great suggestion would be that
people
Use synonyms
 should pay by using their
phones
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 hiding their information
Submitted by lamaxb2020 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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