IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries, crime rates are higher in cities than in rural areas. Discuss the reasons for this and suggest ways to reduce crime in cities.

#countries #crime #rates #cities #areas
The crime rates are
cities
 are higher than
countyside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 in my
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
. I think the biggest reason is the bad public
security
 and there are a lot of ways to solve the problem. Maybe because of
large
Add an article
a large
the large
show examples
 amount of population and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad economics, many big
cities
 are in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 condition
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nobody
care
Correct subject-verb agreement
cares
show examples
 about
such
 as Detroit and Baltimore in
Americ
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
. There is no police to catch the criminals and the
government
 don’t pay
attition
Correct your spelling
attention
 to high crime rates, so the
hole
Correct your spelling
whole
show examples
 city is full of drug,
pronographic
Correct your spelling
pornographic
pornography
 and crimes. On the other side,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
security
 in
Add an article
a suburb
show examples
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
show examples
 may be better
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 in
cities
.Because there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
 in the rural areas,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is easier to manage. If there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 some theft cases, the police
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 easy to find the criminal in the limit
people
. The living in
Correct article usage
a suburb
show examples
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
show examples
 is
also
 more simple, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 don’t have the
ideas
Fix the agreement mistake
idea
show examples
 of
criming
Correct your spelling
crime
. There are many ways to solve
the
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
 problems.
Government
 can call many
polices
Correct subject-verb agreement
police
show examples
 from other
cities
 to administer public
security
 and
sovle
Correct your spelling
solve
 the cases which didn’t know the criminals for a long time.When many
criminials
Correct your spelling
criminals
 are all went into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jail, the
people
 will know that the
government
 had
pay
Wrong verb form
paid
show examples
attition
Correct your spelling
attention
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
security
. They will go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jail too
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they do something against the
laws
Fix the agreement mistake
law
show examples
. The crime rates will decrease gradually.
Besides
, many
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
 became
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
 because of losing their job.Because they don’t have the income to support the family, so they do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things against the law to make law. If
government
 provide more , there will be
less criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer criminals
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
socity
Correct your spelling
society
. In summary, the large amount of population in
cities
 and the negative attitude of police cause the high rate in
cities
. The way to solve the problems is
improving
Change the verb form
to improve
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
security
 and provide more job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
.
Submitted by 806960230 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: