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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

two pie charts show the patterns of expenditure in the us between 1966 - 1996. summariese the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

two pie charts show the patterns of expenditure in the us between 1966 - 1996. summariese the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
food
Use synonyms
 - > reduce
cars
Use synonyms
 > more The two pie charts
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the
poportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 and
changing
Replace the word
change
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 expenditure in the USA with
compares
Replace the word
comparisons
show examples
 in 1966 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three decades later in 1996.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Food
Use synonyms
 had
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
Use synonyms
porpotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
portion
 in 1966 with 44
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of all
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
 and follow
with
Change preposition
by with
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
23
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the lowest point, the petro had just only one
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 with the lowest
Use synonyms
porpotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
portion
 in the chart and the restaurant and furniture had
Linking Words
similarly
Change the word
similar
show examples
poportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
. In 1996, the
Use synonyms
porpotion
Correct your spelling
portion
proportion
 has many
changing
Wrong verb form
changes
show examples
 in all
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
food
Use synonyms
, they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 switched ranking of expenditure with
cars
Use synonyms
 in percentage decreasing
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 14 for
food
Use synonyms
 and
cars
Use synonyms
 increase a
Use synonyms
porpotion
Correct your spelling
portion
proportion
 to 45
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In the
follwing
Correct your spelling
following
 with
cars
Use synonyms
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 is the petro with
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
concumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 decade. The
restuarants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 and computers have not significant change with the
Use synonyms
porpotion
Correct your spelling
portion
proportion
 in 1966, they
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 at 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
 increase to 14
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, cars, porpotion, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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