The car is possibly the most convenient and popular way of getting from A to B. However, due to its impact on the environment and the risk it poses to pedestrians and motorists, governments should take urgent steps to reduce our dependency on this mode of transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recently automobile has become the most used mode of transportation.
Beside
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Besides
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the positive
impact
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,impact
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people enjoy from the car, it contributes
in
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to
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worsening the environmental status
as well as
threatening pedestrians and motorcycle users. In order to lower our dependency on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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automobile uses, I
supports
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support
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the initiative of governments to lay down crucial measurements on
this
issue by increasing the
tax
related to automobile and improving public transport. It is strongly believed that
increasing
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the increasing
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number of both private and public
cars
, including buses, in the streets poses some environmental effects and dangers for pedestrians and motorists. Fumes and
emission
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emissions
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produced by
cars
dramatically lower the quality of air in the cities and
then
may harm the health quality of dwellers.
Moreover
, the bad manners of car drivers
poses
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pose
show examples
some accidents
to
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for
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pedestrians and motorcycle users. To tackle
these problem
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this problem
these problems
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,
government
Add an article
the government
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should make
measurements
Replace the word
measures
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toward
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against
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using
cars
in the city. One of them is by rising the
tax
because it is believed that the low
tax
as
Correct word choice
apply
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promotes the purchasing of private
cars
.
In
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On
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the other hand,
government
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the government
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should enhance the facilities and management of public transportation. Some workers opt to ride their own
cars
because of
lack
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the lack
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of public
transportations
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transportation
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. If governments well managed to improve the public
transports
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transport
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by adding the quantities of modes and variating them,
as well as
improving their facilities, the dwellers would choose them. As
results
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result
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, the problems can be reduced effectively. In conclusion, I strongly believed that initiatives
taken
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are taken
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by
government
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the government
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to reduce the growing number of private
cars
by increasing the
tax
and enhancing the quality of mass
transportations
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transportation
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, so that
citizen
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citizens
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prioritize
Change the verb form
prioritizes
show examples
using them
instead
of their own
cars
.
Submitted by kamranasatirsyady on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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