IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Culture and education both play an important role with many countries, some say that preservation of culture has its features while others think that instead of culture people should focus on education in the country. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give examples and reasons to support your claims.

#culture #education #role #countries #say #preservation #features #people #focus #country #support #claims
Cultural values and
education
 both play imperative roles in a multitude of nations; some say that
culture
 should be focused on,
whereas
 others surmise that it is
education
that is
 better highlighted.
This
 essay will focus a spotlight on both given discernment,
as well as
 their alternatives in the ensuing paragraphs. Looking at the side of emphasizing
culture
first,
a meritorious aspect is, it could bolster the national identity of a nation. As much as anything, when
people
 are versed in their cultural values and tradition, it becomes a representation of themselves.
Conversely
, when nations bring to the fore
education
, there might be a significant lack of funding;
in other words
, the financial allocation can better be splurged on the essential needs of the
people
 like food and shelter. On the antipodal view, when countries ameliorate
education
 more,
this
 action may generate strong future professionals.
In other words
, they can become pillars of the economy
due to
 their contributions. Alternatively, when nations focus too much on
culture
,
people
 may become idealistic and there might be no progress which in turn may generate conflicts and stagnation in a country. As far as I am concerned, I side with the idea of giving prominence to
education
; in a
sense
Add a comma
,sense
show examples
people
 may amass knowledge and the said can abet the workers to become more productive, not just for themselves but for the country as well. As an inference,
this
 essay has presented both sides of the idea
along with
 my support for giving emphasis to
education
.
At the end
 of the day,
culture
 can transform the values of a person,
while
education
 can change a person's views with progress.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: