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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts illustrate the average percentage of an employed person’s
day
Use synonyms
 spent doing different activities in 1958 and 2008, in a particular country.
Overall
Linking Words
, employed
people
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 in
this
Linking Words
 particular country spent the most amount of
time
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 in a
day
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, in both 1958 and 2008, at
work
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was an inverse relationship between working and sleeping over the
50 year
Add a hyphen
50-year
show examples
 period. In 1958, working
people
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 in
this
Linking Words
 country spent one-third of their
day
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 at
work
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, followed by just under one-third of their
day
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 sleeping. Going out with friends or family took up the next largest portion of
time
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 in a
day
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, at 19%. Meanwhile, travelling to
work
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 was the activity that took up the least percentage of
time
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 in someone’s
day
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. Fifty years later, the percentage of a
day
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 that
people
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 spent at
work
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 increased to 42%,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for sleeping had dropped to 25%. Less
time
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 was spent going out with family and friends (6%), but more
time
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 was allocated to relaxing at home (13%).
In addition
Linking Words
, the figure for the portion of
Use synonyms
day
Add an article
the day
a day
show examples
 that
people
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 spent travelling to
work
Use synonyms
 quadrupled to 8% over the period.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words day, people, time, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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