IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people today believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society.

#people #world’s #population #crisis #world #growth #economy #society
The population has been increasing for years. Some
people
 believe that it can cause damage to the environment
while
 other
people
 think that it could benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our society. From my personal perspective, I think the population can be harmful to our planet. Nowadays, lifespan is longer than before when you compare it to the data of decades. Thanks to medical development, elderly
people
 can easily live up to 90 years old. More and more
people
 live on the earth, which means
resources
 are rapidly used by those
people
.
For example
, in 1950, there were only 1,500
people
 living in Taiwan, but now, there are more than 2,300 million
people
 living in Taiwan.
People
 take things for granted since many items are produced automatically.
However
, we should consider the main idea of
resources
 are limited, and one day, they will disappear. It can be a huge loss and lead humans to death.
On the other hand
, the young generation can hardly pass away
due to
 diseases since health facilities basically are everywhere,
therefore
 they can have proper treatment on time. That
also
 leads to the growth of the population. In order to contain many
people
 to live on the earth, which means
people
 still use vehicles for transportation and cut trees for building fancy houses. It is a disadvantage for our environment.
Furthermore
, SpaceX is considering taking outer space as the next colony for
people
 taking all kinds of
resources
 to rebuild another planet.
People
 are not taking the responsibility for using things with cherish.
Resources
 are easily run out
due to
this
 reason. In conclusion, I think
people
 are causing wounds to the environment because lifespans are longer than before, and young
people
 cannot die easily. That causes resource shortages and ultimately leads humans to death.
Submitted by blair.chang975640 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: