IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

ILife has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress-related illnesses are increasing around the world. Why is stress such widespread in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#ilife #parent’s #generation #illnesses #world #stress
In the contemporary epoch, individuals are obliged to struggle with bigger and more whimsical conditions than
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
. It is commonly believed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 these situations cause more stressful life events and
overwhelmed
Replace the word
overwhelming
show examples
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 for people. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate
further
 in regard to
this
 issue
in addition
 to the solutions. At present, every person from different ages group is obliged to make a choice during the day. In today's world, life speed is relatively quicker than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past. People have to gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more sophisticated features to make decisions and fulfilling them.
As a result
, these conditions cause
experiencing
Wrong verb form
experience
show examples
 more stressful moments for
ones
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
. Every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
 are already fond of living
more
Change preposition
in more
show examples
 comfortable houses and own to more expensive cars.
Then
 they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
normally stay at work for long hours to gain more money.
Undegoing
Correct your spelling
Undergoing
 the compelling moments is not neglectable. People who spend their time on social media undergo mainly
high stress
Add a hyphen
high-stress
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
. As a matter of fact, to reduce
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of the stress-related illnesses every person has to decrease relatively utilizing spending time on social media. At the same time, the government impose some decisions regarding
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 working hours.
In addition
, if workers can attain
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
working
Change the verb form
to work
show examples
 at home, it will be more productive and purposeful. From
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
my point of view, the daily stress rate is decreased considerably in
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
 of each of the methods. In conclusion, we cannot persist
secration
Correct your spelling
secretion
section
 the stress hormone,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 we would monitor
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 rate.
Submitted by ilkinkarimov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: