IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many countries use fossil fuels (coal, oil, natural gas) as the main source of energy. However, in some countries the use of the alternative sources of energy (wind energy and solar energy) is encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this development?

#countries #fuels #oil #gas #source #energy #alternative #sources #wind #development
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In the modern world
energy
Use synonyms
 is one of the most popular issues for developing countries and industries. Some of
the
Remove the article
apply
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them use fossil
fuels
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 which are environmental slayers for global environmental activists and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others use alternative
sources
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 like wind turbinates and solar panels. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 both actions have
a great opportunities
Correct the article-noun agreement
a great opportunity
great opportunities
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 in a short term for developing their nations. But in a long term not seems
like
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apply
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quite equal.
Firstly
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fossil
fuels
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considered
Add a missing verb
are considered
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 as fast, easy and dirty
energy
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 for their nature. Coal is remnants of processed wood and ashes that
using
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
 in heating homes for very cheap.
For example
Linking Words
, oil and natural gas are
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in the transportation sector to provide
easy
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easily
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accessed
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access
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 to
energy
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. Because there are lots of gas stations around the city. Easy access
is always fancies
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is always fancied
is always fancying
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 for consumers. But all these fossil
energy
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sources
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 have negative impacts on our bodies. The countries provide great profits from fossil
fuels
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 but
losing
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 money for health insurance and hospital expenses. These
sources
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 increase spending on health sectors with some diseases
such
Linking Words
 as carbon monoxide poisoning, interstitial lung diseases restrictive and obstructive lung diseases.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, alternative
energy
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 resources like solar
energy
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 and wind
energy
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 are expensive
to begin
Linking Words
.
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with.
show examples
 Governments and councils are not interested to invest in reusable
energy
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 because of the prices of wind turbinates and solar panels. But in a long
term
Add a comma
,term
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
sources
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 will profit. These
sources
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 have nearly zero negative effects on health and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 which is great for our bodies and our child.
To sum up
Linking Words
 all countries want to develop easily and select the cheapest way for
this
Linking Words
. But
citizens
Change noun form
citizen's
citizens'
show examples
 healths are not cheap as fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
. Human life is always expensive for their unique futures.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable
  • renewable energy
  • non-renewable resources
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gases
  • energy independence
  • climate change
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructural development
  • technological innovation
  • economic disruption
  • fossil fuel depletion
  • energy transition
  • consistency and reliability
  • wildlife habitat
  • natural landscapes
  • solar panels
  • wind turbines
  • energy consumption
  • ecological balance
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