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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Plastic shopping bags contribute to the pollution of land and sea.Some people think they should be banned.Do you agree or disagree. Give examples for your answers.

Rubber
bags
Use synonyms
 used in shopping attribute to the pollution of our land and river bodies.
People
Use synonyms
 have the view that a ban should be placed on its
useage
Correct your spelling
usage
. Plastic
bags
Use synonyms
 in one way or
the
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
 other helps us in
packaging
Add an article
the packaging
show examples
 of
food
Add an article
a food
the food
show examples
 product.
on
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
 most
people
Use synonyms
 rely on these
bags
Use synonyms
wheneve
Correct your spelling
whenever
 they go shopping. But it has been observed that the use of these
bags
Use synonyms
 causes us more harm than good. It is of
these effect
Change the determiner
this effect
these effects
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 are now against its use and asking for a ban to be placed on its use. I strongly agree with these
people
Use synonyms
 in that the harm
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
 product causes to our land and sea outweighs
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 benefit to mankind.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 drawbacks of patronizing its
useage
Correct your spelling
usage
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, during the production of these plastics, harmful chemicals are
release
Wrong verb form
released
show examples
 into the atmosphere. these deadly
substancesb
Correct your spelling
substances
 ends up in our water bodies and land. When
this
Linking Words
 happens, poor fishes in the sea ingest the harmful particles
hence
Linking Words
 killing them or making them harmful for consumption by man.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the emission of these
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
show examples
 becomes
poisionus
Correct your spelling
poisonous
 to our
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 the population when its inhaled.
Secondly
Linking Words
, improper disposal of these rubbers may end up choking our gutters and beaches. Taking kolegono beach, a popular beach in Ghana
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 an eye-saw to visit
this
Linking Words
 beach.
this
Linking Words
 place was once a tourist site in the country but the story
Add the comma(s)
, however,
show examples
however
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 changed since it has now been
turn
Change the verb form
turning
turned
show examples
 into a refuge site for plastics.
This
Linking Words
 act has not only polluted the sea but
also
Linking Words
 taken away the revenue the government was gaining from there. Many
people
Use synonyms
 will argue my point
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that, the
manufactoring
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
 of
this
Linking Words
ite
Correct your spelling
site
,
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
employment for our youth,
whereas
Linking Words
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 dumping on our lands serves as a source of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
fertilizer for our crops. But if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 may ask, what is the essence of employment and a good harvest when these harmful chemicals are killing us slowly?

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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