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Band 6.5

Many people believe that playing games and watching TV programs is beneficial but for others it does not improve mental ability of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #games #tv #programs #ability #children
One
 of the conspicuous trends of today`s world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people who think that participating in online sports and paying attention to Television series plays a significant role in children's life. On the
one
 ,hand few ethics suppose it’s not inclined intelligence of
kids
. There is a widespread worry that
this
 will lead to a myriad of concerns in
one
's life.
However
, I do entirely accept
this
 and I will explain why in
this
 essay. There are a number of arguments in favour of my stance. The most preponderant
one
 is that playing
games
 and watching TV is important for
kids
 because when they start.
Kids
 use almost 85 % of their brains. Their brains are always active in doing smarter work and very fast.
While
 they are doing some other activities
also
 at the same time
such
 as talking with friend’s middle of
games
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and making notes related to new projects.
On the other hand
, they are improving their multitasking skills with new technology. We can`t be denied
this
 thing and there are numerous other benefits in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantages, it offers, not only benefits more when it comes to being effective, but it can enhance productivity and quality of their lives, with much ease, efficacy, and convenience. Needless to say, all these merits stand
one
 in good stead, as far as augmenting the chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned. Let`s begin with another pivotal factor in the aforementioned proposition is that it is only likely to help
one
 thrive and excel in varied areas.
Besides
 when only following
such
 a system, can they broaden their horizon,
thus
 learning
such
 as dedication and perseverance,
hence
, it is apparent why many are in favour of it does not work for the intellectual health of juveniles.
Whereas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is like drugs,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 they are not doing the study.
While
 they start to misbehave with near and dears ones. who says control a child who is more active in playing
games
 and watching TV
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For example
,
according to
 the times of Hindustan report in 2020, almost a quarter of children try to do suicide so her/his parents putting effort to stop playing
games
. In
this
 view of the arguments outlined above,
one
 can conclude that the benefits of its important for
kids
 to be part of online
games
 and some TV series but parents need to be very careful,
while
 it's harmful to kid's life if they use unlimited some things are indeed too great to ignore.
Submitted by nsalmanoor1 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster mental agility
  • strategic thinking
  • inspire creativity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • intellectually stimulating
  • deep thinking
  • patience and perseverance
  • balance and content of screen time
  • active involvement
  • educational and age-appropriate
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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