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Writing Samples
Band 5

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it the clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

#world #technology #internet #terms #control #security #information
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Nowadays, masses around the globe are residing in a
world
 heavily influenced by technology.
Although
 I agree that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 plies significant comforts to
people
, I believe that the discomforts arising in the form of less control and endangered safety of information are outbalancing the advantages. On the
one
 hand,
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 has proven to be fruitful for
people
 around the
world
.
Internet
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The Internet
show examples
 has transmuted the
lives
 of
people
 to a great extent since the dawn of the twenty-first century. It has brought changes in the social, cultural, economic and political spheres of life. If
one
 traces back time to the
last
 century,
one
 would be able to see the considerable differences in the
lives
 of
people
 living in that era. In
this
 way,
internet
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the internet
show examples
 has given
people
's dreams a reality. You can see
this
 with globalisation,
people
 are more connected today than they ever have been in the history of mankind.
Moreover
,
internet
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the internet
show examples
 has transformed the whole
world
 into a global village.
Therefore
,
internet
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the internet
show examples
 has turned out to be productive for the masses residing in different regions of the
world
.
On the other hand
, in spite of the benefits of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, it has given birth to some problems relating to
privacy
Add an article
the privacy
show examples
 of information and control of user's data.
Although
people
 love to share their private life on social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp, they are unaware of the wickedness of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. Some evil-minded
people
 having malicious intentions try to hack the users' data and intrude into their personal
lives
 for their own self-interest.
People
 are being deluded
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the concept of privacy offered to them by
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. As a matter of fact,
people
's data is becoming more vulnerable day by day.
For instance
, as explained in
one
 documentary named "The Social Dilemma" on Netflix,
people
's likes and dislikes of some particular content on websites like YouTube and Facebook are heinously used against them by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developers. In
this
 way,
people
 are unconsciously trapped in
this
 maze.
Therefore
,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has arisen some serious problems for
people
. In a nutshell, since I agreed that
internet
 provides great benefits to
people
 in every dimension of their everyday
lives
, I reckoned that problems arising
due to
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 somehow outweigh the comforts.
Submitted by kamran_lashari81 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
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