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Writing Samples
Band 5

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it the clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

#world #technology #internet #terms #control #security #information
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Nowadays, masses around the globe are residing in a
world
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 heavily influenced by technology.
Although
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 I agree that
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 plies significant comforts to
people
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, I believe that the discomforts arising in the form of less control and endangered safety of information are outbalancing the advantages. On the
one
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 hand,
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internet
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the internet
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 has proven to be fruitful for
people
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 around the
world
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.
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Internet
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The Internet
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 has transmuted the
lives
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 of
people
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 to a great extent since the dawn of the twenty-first century. It has brought changes in the social, cultural, economic and political spheres of life. If
one
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 traces back time to the
last
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 century,
one
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 would be able to see the considerable differences in the
lives
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 of
people
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 living in that era. In
this
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 way,
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internet
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the internet
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 has given
people
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's dreams a reality. You can see
this
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 with globalisation,
people
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 are more connected today than they ever have been in the history of mankind.
Moreover
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,
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internet
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the internet
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 has transformed the whole
world
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 into a global village.
Therefore
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,
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internet
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the internet
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 has turned out to be productive for the masses residing in different regions of the
world
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.
On the other hand
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, in spite of the benefits of
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internet
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the internet
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, it has given birth to some problems relating to
privacy
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the privacy
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 of information and control of user's data.
Although
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people
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 love to share their private life on social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp, they are unaware of the wickedness of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. Some evil-minded
people
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 having malicious intentions try to hack the users' data and intrude into their personal
lives
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 for their own self-interest.
People
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 are being deluded
with
Change preposition
by
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 the concept of privacy offered to them by
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. As a matter of fact,
people
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's data is becoming more vulnerable day by day.
For instance
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, as explained in
one
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 documentary named "The Social Dilemma" on Netflix,
people
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's likes and dislikes of some particular content on websites like YouTube and Facebook are heinously used against them by
the
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apply
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developers. In
this
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 way,
people
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 are unconsciously trapped in
this
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 maze.
Therefore
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,
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internet
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the internet
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 has arisen some serious problems for
people
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. In a nutshell, since I agreed that
internet
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 provides great benefits to
people
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 in every dimension of their everyday
lives
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, I reckoned that problems arising
due to
Linking Words
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 somehow outweigh the comforts.
Submitted by kamran_lashari81 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
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