IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Growing population is a big problem in developing countries. Should the government provide new homes in the cities or countryside?

#population #countries #government #homes #cities #countryside
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Population
Add an article
The population
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 is increasing day by day. Cities are being crowded. It has now become a common feature to get stuck in traffic for 2 to 3 hours. One family on average includes 2 to 3 children. These children when grew up
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
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 living in the same house with their families.
This
Linking Words
 has given rise to
joint
Correct article usage
a joint
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 family
system
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 economic situation,
shared
Correct article usage
a shared
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system
Use synonyms
 has become very common in Pakistan. Living in
joint
Correct article usage
a joint
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system
Use synonyms
 has its own pros and cons. Out of many advantages one is shared bills, grocery and other
utility related
Add a hyphen
utility-related
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 things,
relieves
Correct pronoun usage
which relieves
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 some of the stress.
However
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the iInvasion
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iInvasion
Correct your spelling
invasion
 of privacy,
less
Correct word choice
and less
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 space are some of the factors that can sometimes frustrate the members of the household and can lead to quarrels. All these things are bad for
mental
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the mental
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 health of both kids and adults but, people are bound to live together because of financial constraints. No doubt,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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inflation has caused many families to live in
shared
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a shared
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system
Use synonyms
. Government should take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 in
this
Linking Words
 time of need. Cities are out of
option
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options
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 as they are already densely populated.
Administration
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The administration
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 should build housing societies that are economical
in
Change preposition
on
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Add an article
the country
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country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
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. They should take
Correct article usage
the initiatives
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initiatives
Fix the agreement mistake
initiative
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 to introduce apartment culture in the country. Apartments can be a good option for small families, wanting to live separately and independently. On one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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this
Linking Words
 step will not only encourage people to come and live in
countryside
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the countryside
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 but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will
also
Linking Words
 give a chance to businesses and office sectors of rural areas to grow and flourish.
Growing
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A growing
The growing
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 population is a big problem in developing countries. Should the government provide new homes in the cities or
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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?
Submitted by aribaatique11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure
  • urban sprawl
  • amenities
  • employment opportunities
  • public transportation
  • rural landscape
  • cost of living
  • recreational space
  • community development
  • subsidies
  • tax breaks
  • sustainability
  • economic impact
  • public services
What to do next:
Look at other essays: