The death penalty should be available as a punishment for serious crimes. To what extent do you agree?

Serious crime can bring negative effects on others, it makes some
people
believe that the
death
sentence is the answer to reduce it. Yet I don't agree with that statement, because it is against human
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
. I do believe to make
criminals
live in a poverty for the rest of their
life
is the best solution. There is no end to the criminal doing their actions alongside our
life
, in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
it gets more and more serious. These actions can make other
people
have lost their precious things,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
it can lead to the
death
of the victim.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
the corruptors, take money from the
people
on the ground
due to
fulfilling their ego.
Although
the government has given aid to the
people
, the amount of
this
aid can be reduced by the corruptor. It brings many
people
who live in poverty who cannot buy their needs, pay their education tuition or pay their health bills.
Furthermore
, it can lead to suicide
due to
people
's economic conditions being unfulfilled. Even though serious crimes
such
as corruption is unforgiven, there is no
right
to give
death
Correct article usage
a death
show examples
sentence to them as a
punishment
.
Criminals
still have the
right
to live, paying back to the country for what they have done.
However
, the
criminals
must have a serious
punishment
, giving undirectly warning to others not to do the same case. If we look back at the motif of corruptors, the motif will be for wealth
life
. The motif should be the prior basis to decide the most effective
punishment
. So to give them poverty lives is the answer for it. In fact, there is a lot of Indonesian
corruptor
Change to a plural noun
corruptors
show examples
who can pay the judge to make injustice decisions, and
also
pay the officer that makes them have a normal
life
behind bars. They can do that because they still have a lot of money, spending some of it to have a benefit
punishment
.
This
case seems so normal in Indonesia.
However
, it will be so different if the country takes all of their assets,
such
as business, property, and cars.
Furthermore
,
this
condition will make the corruptors cannot pay for the judge, so justice will arise. In conclusion, the
death
penalty is not the answer for
people
who have done serious crimes because it
against
Add a missing verb
is against
show examples
human
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
. The
criminals
should have a
punishment
behind bars and all of their assets will be
Add an article
a
show examples
national
asset
Fix the agreement mistake
assets
show examples
.
Submitted by yudhajatmiko94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: