The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree
When a certain astronaut first reached the
moon
, it made many people
be
surprised. Wrong verb form
were
This
is because walking on the moon
was quite extraordinary news at the time. However
, I am of an
opinion that Correct article usage
the
this
news has not had a significant effect on changing the lives
of most people
.
On the one hand, some people
agree that the success of reaching the moon
failed to make a considerable difference in the average people
’s lives
for the
noteworthy reasons. The most remarkable one is that the majority of Correct article usage
apply
people
are highly likely to consider that the event is extremely not related to their lives
. To use a common example of this
, the
most Correct article usage
apply
people
tend to focus on different issues, which means that they prioritize more important current affairs relating to housing, investment, and tax policy. In addition
, people
engaging in different fields, not cosmology or astronomy are not interested in this
kind of achievement, and this
is just surprising and unusual news for them.
On the other hand
, other people
disagree with the above statement for many reasons. The important reason for this
regard is that the first step on the moon
eminently has contributed to improving the quality of people
’s lives
. To be specific, the achievement allows the branches of science and technology to be developed, which means that it suggests the potential and possibility in new fields by succeeding to gain a great outcome. Furthermore
, it would lead to extra innovations in different areas including Internet access and phone calls.
In conclusion, when all the specific reasons and relevant examples are considered, I strongly believe that the initial step on the moon
definitely could not bring about crucial positive changes in the average people
’s lives
.Submitted by doseun on
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task response
Provide a more balanced argument by acknowledging opposing views and presenting a clear position.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main ideas and frame the essay effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
