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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
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The chart illustrates the percentage of three types of nutrients (
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added sugar) which can be harmful if consumed supremely
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
in various meals.
Overall
Linking Words
,
sodium
Use synonyms
 and soggy fat are consumed heavily at Dinner
while
Linking Words
 snacks involve almost half of the added sugar as compared to other meals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Breakfast incorporates the least amount of these three nutrients. In terms of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and soaked, fats both are taken in extremely high percentages in dinner (43% and 37% respectively) followed by lunch
accommodates
Wrong verb form
accommodating
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 slightly under one-third of these substances compared to alternative meal categories.
While
Linking Words
 breakfast adds only 14% of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and 16% waterlogged fats.
According to
Linking Words
 data Snacks has a seemingly immensely large quantity of added sugar with a figure of 42%. Followed by dinner which involves 23% of carbohydrates. The new two types of food combined have around one-third of the sweet.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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