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Band 5

Some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas other like working for companies or institutions. Which is a better approach? Give your opinion?

#people #companies #institutions #approach
According to
 reviews given by
people
, many of them choose to be
Add an article
a promotion
show examples
promotion
Replace the word
promoted
show examples
 in
carrier
Add an article
the carrier
a carrier
show examples
 to reach their target in
companies
 and others to be independent. Nowadays,
people
 try to
start
Add the particle
tostart
show examples
 apply own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to rid
out from
Change preposition
of
show examples
work
 pressure in
organization
Add an article
the organization
an organization
show examples
. In
below
Correct article usage
the below
show examples
 paragraphs, explained
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work
 culture either dependent
as well as
 independent style. Presently, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youths
Add an article
the youths
show examples
 will prefer to be
Add an article
an employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 of any institution or
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
show examples
 because once they come out from college after graduation, will start to attend interviews and get jobs.
For example
, Individual who works in any MNC
companies
 provided with multiple opportunities where give chance to expose their skills
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
well experienced
Add a hyphen
well-experienced
show examples
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
. Every month end fixed salary will be
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 in our hand.
Along with
 that if we show our talent additional rewards and recognition will be organised by higher management to employees that would be very interesting. There will be time table each day for working so that
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 period could find time with family.
Hence
, working in
organisation
Add an article
the organisation
an organisation
show examples
 brings us great benefits. Some
people
 choose to be independent in
job
Correct pronoun usage
their job
show examples
 profile because working under
manager
Correct article usage
a manager
show examples
 would feel
stress
Replace the word
stressful
show examples
. The organization needs only
target
Correct article usage
a target
show examples
 than
wealth
Add an article
the wealth
a wealth
show examples
 of employees. So, higher management put pressure on
Add an article
the employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
. If
people
starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 business
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 offline or online, not even
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
 person make
pressure
Wrong verb form
pressured
show examples
 to sell the products. If
Correct article usage
the customer
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
satisfy
Change the verb form
satisfies
show examples
 with
seller
Add an article
the seller
a seller
show examples
then
huge
Add an article
the huge
show examples
 profit will be
expecting
Wrong verb form
expected
show examples
 but if
ther
Correct your spelling
there
 is no potential in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
 could bring them
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
. Being
owner
Add an article
an owner
the owner
show examples
 of shops, majority of
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
 spend with customers than family.
Hence
, independent
work
 life would may
helpful
Add a missing verb
be helpful
show examples
 depending on
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
. In conclusion, I would support to
be
Change the verb form
work
show examples
work
 in
companies
 because
however
 the situation every month salary will be there in hand and can build a carrier to reach our dream job.
Submitted by aishwaryarkunnummal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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