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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the production of olive oil. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the production of olive oil. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The figures illustrate how olive oil is made. The process of manufacturing involves human resources and complex machinery. In the first step, olives are picked up from trees manually by workers who store them in baskets.
Subsequently
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, they are transported in a machine where they are rinsed with the addition of cold water. After that, the belt conveyor directs the clean olives in a big apparatus that smash them, and at that point, the products obtained are olive paste and olive stones. After that, the olive paste is put in a bag with holes, which is pressed by a specific instrument, following the oil and water (waste product) are separated and
finally
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, the item is ready to be stored in a warehouse and
lastly
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 sold in every market.
Overall
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, it can be seen that
this
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 linear, man-made process starts with the picking of the olives which after seven stages
such
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 as smashing, pressing and separating, are transformed into oil, the same as we can find on sale which is used every day by people as a condiment or to exalt the taste of several foods.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Harvesting - the process of collecting ripe fruits, such as olives, from trees.
  • Rinsing - washing thoroughly with water to clean away debris or impurities.
  • Crushing - smashing or grinding something into small pieces or a paste.
  • Paste - a thick, soft mixture formed by crushing olives.
  • Pressing - the act of applying force to extract liquid.
  • Centrifuge - a machine that separates substances of different densities by spinning them rapidly.
  • Filtering - the process of removing impurities or unwanted particles from a liquid.
  • Bottling - packaging liquid in bottles for storage or sale.
  • Impurities - unwanted or foreign substances within a mixture.
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