IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages

#people #lives #reason
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the past, it was very difficult to have access to information, but now information about different cities or countries is well distributed. There are people that are born
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
neighboarhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
 and spend their whole
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
 living close to it.
This
Linking Words
 essay
explore
Change the verb form
explores
show examples
 those reasons, the advantages and the disadvantages of living close to the place you
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 born for your entire
life
Use synonyms
. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 living close to where you have grown up
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 considered
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as being familiar with the
area
Use synonyms
 and being close to family and friends. Living in a place you know the
area
Use synonyms
 can be very comfortable because you are aware of
where
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 is safe or not,
where
Correct word choice
and where
show examples
 are the best schools, supermarkets or stores. At the same time, living always in the same
area
Use synonyms
 usually means that you will always have your family and friend around, which means having
suport
Correct your spelling
support
 and company whenever you
need
Correct pronoun usage
itneed
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
disadvanges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of living always in the same region. Depending on where you work or with what you work, not moving to a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
new
area
Use synonyms
 can imply spending a lot of time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
 or even having
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 job opportunities. Living always
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same
neighboardhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
 can lead you to avoid changes, and
this
Linking Words
 can have a big impact on your
life
Use synonyms
 because you would probably miss opportunities of
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 in the personal and
profissional
Correct your spelling
professional
 field with experiences about new habits and customs. As said before, knowing the pros and cons of the region and being close to friends and family can be considered the reasons and
also
Linking Words
 the
advanges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of living the whole
life
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same place.
Although
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can imply living away from work or missing
Use synonyms
life changing
Add a hyphen
life-changing
show examples
opportuinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
Submitted by miro.rados on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Settlement
  • Hometown
  • Roots
  • Community
  • Emotional attachment
  • Sense of familiarity
  • Social network
  • Bond
  • Safety
  • Proximity
  • Support system
  • Heritage
  • Limited options
  • Risk aversion
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Unfamiliarity
  • Exploration
  • Adventurous spirit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: