SOme people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness

#people #money #factors #happiness

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, there are different opinions

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

money

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

essential. Personally, in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

money

is the key consideration and I believe that other factors are equally important. On the one hand, I agree that

money

is necessary in order for

people

to meet their basic needs.

For instance

, we all need

money

to pay for housing, food, health care and education.

Likewise

, most

people

consider it a priority to at least earn a salary that allows them to cover these needs and have a reasonable quality of life. If

people

chose jobs based on enjoyment or other

non-financal

Correct your spelling

non-financial

factors, they might find it difficult to support themselves.

For example

, in

Belgium

Add a comma

,Belgium

show examples

janitor artists are known for choosing a career path that they like, but that does not always provide them with enough

money

to live comfortably and raise to family.

On the other hand

, I reckon that other considerations are just as important as what we earn cash in our jobs or life.

Firstly

, personal relationships and the atmosphere in a workplace are extremely essential when choosing a job.

Secondly

, many

people

's feelings of job satisfaction come from their professional achievements.

Nevertheless

, some individuals choose a career because they want to help

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

with

money

and contribute something positive to society. For occurrence, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Spain

Change preposition

apply

show examples

statistics 85% of citizens alleged if anyone has more than $1,000, they go to prison for five years.

To sum up

while

funds certainly affect

people

's choice of profession, I do not believe that

money

outweighs all other motivators.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Mon Feb 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to thei main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is argued that some pupils are willing to attend extra classes besides the major ones, while others claim to prefer taking all efforts only to achieve their professional education. Although learning about additional subjects can develop students’ soft skills, I agree with the view that students should pay attention mainly to their qualifications because it will enhance their chances of being accepted in the workplace.
<4
band
You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to inform that l have problem agreement with my roommate. I think it is difficult to compromise their behaviors in the room.
5.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In several nations, the amount of citizens who are curious about the history of their accommodations is increasing. One of the reasons for this is that people value the story of objects rather than mere ownership. To know more about the story of their home, they can simply ask their neighbours.
5
band
Young people spend less of their free time with their family nowadays. What are the reasons for this? Are there more negative or positive sides to this trend?
These days, more and more teenagers diminish their spare time to assemble together with their families. This issue has several negative impacts on the family relationship which I discuss here.
<4
band
Nowadays, many people with families leave their country to work abroad. Do you think the benefits of this trend outweigh the disadvantages for the families?
Recently a multitude of people move abroad with their families in order to work. In this essay, I will be discussing both the negatives alongside the positives, in order to establish an outcome.

SOme people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to thei main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Young people spend less of their free time with their family nowadays. What are the reasons for this? Are there more negative or positive sides to this trend?

Nowadays, many people with families leave their country to work abroad. Do you think the benefits of this trend outweigh the disadvantages for the families?