IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better to spend on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#money #governments #space #programmes #services #schools #hospitals
In
this
 contemporary
epoch
Add a comma
,epoch
show examples
 there is
heated
Add an article
a heated
the heated
show examples
 argument over the issue that some individuals concur that
money
 should be spent on
space
 programmes would be better
while
 others oppose
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 notion that cash should be spent on public facilities like schools and hospitals.I strongly agree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 mentioned phenomenon.
However
,supporting points will
be discuss
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be discussed
show examples
 in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 paragraph. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 adequate evidence of
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 view which are substantial.The first and foremost reason is
pay
Change the verb form
to pay
paying
show examples
 out
Add an article
the bill
a bill
show examples
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
show examples
 on
space
 technology is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
 because if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
be occupy
Change the verb form
occupy
show examples
 the payment
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
space
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 they have to spend millions of dollars in one finding research
therefore
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 or people
also
 strange from that if they get
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
 from that research or not.Adding more to it
government
 squander a lot of
money
 on scientists to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water and land on the moon but in our
community
Add a comma
,community
show examples
 nobody should take benefit of that founded investigation. Probing ahead administration should have to spend
money
 on school
instead
 of paying
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
space
 exploration because if the
government
 should invest
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
government
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
then
 the children can get a better education
as well as
 they
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 will get better facilities and atmosphere
such
 as computers labs,libraries,playgrounds etc.
Initially
Add a comma
,Initially
show examples
government
 should have to invest
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 as well so
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 will get excellent treatment and many more benefits like they will get medical funds,good doctors etc.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 most significant reason is spending
money
 on public services
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
 more tourists
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the nation so it is
also
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for the nation of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
.
To conclude
occupy
Wrong verb form
occupying
show examples
 cash on public services is better growth for
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 future
instead
 of spending bills on
space
 exploration.
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
Individuals
show examples
 should get more benefits for their families
as well as
 it is
also
 beneficial for the nation of growth.
Submitted by sharma1997.rahulthakur on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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