IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that the study of science should be mandatory in schools, whereas others argue that it is unnecessary . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #study #science #schools
In the contemporary era, modern
science
 and technology have made everything possible and convenient for mankind.
Such
 advancements have
boost
Change the verb form
boosted
show examples
 the economical and social sectors of the country. Some critics opine that academic institutions must consider
science
 as a compulsory
subject
,
while
 others deny
this
 notion. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational. On one hand, it is true that
science
 is necessary to understand these days in order to adjust
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the advancements taking place in the world.
Firstly
, the basic knowledge of
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body and how it functions must be clear to the pupils so that it
promote
Change the verb form
promotes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy lifestyle
alongwith
Correct your spelling
along with
 the prevention of various diseases.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 advantage is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the youngsters would be able to get job offers easily especially in the field of engineering and medicine if they know the basic concepts of chemistry, physics and biology.
Moreover
, there would be
probability
Add an article
the probability
a probability
show examples
 of more discoveries by the students in future if they desire to become scientists and developers .
On the other hand
, where there are pros
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 including
science
 as a
subject
 , there are some risks involved.
Firstly
, teenagers are invincible in nature and capable of learning things fast and
misuse
Wrong verb form
misusing
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. To exemplify, nowadays,
trend
Add an article
the trend
a trend
show examples
 of using drugs is increasing and youngsters learn the methods of making drugs on their own with the help of basic chemistry concepts taught by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
 teachers.
This
 lead to detrimental effects on their body and health.
Moreover
, the chapters involving
reproductive
Correct article usage
the reproductive
show examples
 system and
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
 of hormones
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
intersest
Correct your spelling
interest
 in students regarding intimate activities and lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in teenage pregnancies. To summarise,
although
,
science
 as a
subject
 has both
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
 and cons
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the profits are more prominent than the darker side. Some changes ought to be done
such
 as the higher authorities of institutes should provide
science
 as an optional
subject
 for the children who are more interested in other areas of schooling.
Submitted by shubhamshubi1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: