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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
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The line graph provides information on the
percentage
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 of the
population
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 aged 6.5 and over from 1940 to 2040 in three nations,
Japan
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, Sweden and the USA.
Overall
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, the proportion of the
population
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 aged 65 and over in the USA and Sweden increased considerably over the shown period,
whereas
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 there was a gradual downtrend in
Japan
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.
However
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, in all three countries, the rates of the elderly are expected to rise dramatically in the future. Regarding the
percentage
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 of
people
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 in the USA, in 1940, the proportion of the
population
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 aged 65 and over was around 9%. Over the following 20 years, there was a 1 per cent growth.
However
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, in the next 2 decades, the figure increased by 10%, reaching an
overall
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 15%.
Then
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, the
percentage
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 there was a slight decrease to around 2% from 1980 to 2020,
while
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 the proportion of older
people
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 in Sweden rose drastically, increasing up to 12%. In all three nations, the rates of
people
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 aged 6.5 and over are projected to grow enormously, reaching about 25% by 2040. Unlike the two nations, the
percentage
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 of
people
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 aged 6.5 and over in
Japan
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 decreased, dropping from 5% to around 3% between 1940 and 1960.
However
Linking Words
, over the next two decades, the figures remained unchanged.
Then
Linking Words
 in 2000, the
percentage
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 of the
population
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 in
Japan
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 returned to the same rate as in 1940. After all, the figures started rising considerably, reaching 10% in 2020. Now the
percentage
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 of the
population
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 in
Japan
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 is set to skyrocket until 2040, increasing from 10% to well over 25%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, population, japan, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.
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