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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

the threeb pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001

the threeb pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001
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These pie charts illustrate the changes that took place in 1981, 1991 and 2001 in a particular UK school in annual spending. The data shown is divided into 3 charts for each year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that most of the annual spending was on the teachers’
salaries
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the least one was on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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insurance
Use synonyms
. First of all, teachers’
salaries
Use synonyms
 were at the top of the annual spending per year reaching 40%, 50% and 45%, respectively.
According to
Linking Words
 the total school spending in 1981, resources, furniture and equipment stood at the same percentage which is 15%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the spending on
insurance
Use synonyms
 was the least one reaching 2%. In 1991 other workers’
salaries
Use synonyms
 were 22% which was higher than the percentage of resources by 2%. The spending on
insurance
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, furniture and equipment was
similar
Change the adjective
similarly
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reaching 3% and 5%. Most of the total school spending in 2001 was on the teachers’
salaries
Use synonyms
 as it stood at 45%. By far, the money spent on resources was slightly under 10%, but the other workers’
salaries
Use synonyms
 were 15%. That was lower than the spending on furniture and equipment. For
insurance
Use synonyms
, it was still the lowest percentage over
this
Linking Words
 year among the other spending

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries, insurance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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