The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less,than those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience brfore going high.Do you agree or disagree
Those individuals
that
will pursue Correct pronoun usage
who
to attain
a degree in a college institution will be less benefited, and share little to nothing, in comparison to those who will visit or seek work in other places for them to gain experience prior to attaining their degree. I do agree with the notion, for the reasons that, It can help them to widen their horizon and meet people that might inspire them.
Verb problem
apply
Firstly
, why
I support the idea that a person can triumph in Rephrase
apply
life
if they can explore the world; since there are loads of circumstances that they may face along their journey, and learn from them. Hence
, they will gain experience of failures that will catapult them to strive more and build resilience in life
. Take one of the youngest sailors for example
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
circumnavigate
the world alone for 210 days in the ocean; even if the sea was scary she had learned to be courageous and took a leap of faith to achieve her dream before she went to university. Her success, inspires her to become a teacher to those who aspire to become like her.
Wrong verb form
circumnavigated
Similarly
, the chance as well to meet people in their life
. This
will allow them to gain knowledge from different personalities or perhaps the achievement of that human. Inspiration from other individuals is a powerful tool to emulate,
and become the best version of themselves. Remove the comma
apply
Thus
, they can tell their story and share them with everyone. Take Western countries for instance
, they let their children travel before pursuing to go to a school institution and get the degree they want, with that, for sure they will meet individuals along the way and be inspired by what that somebody achieved in life
.
In conclusion, I ultimately agree that a person, before entering college, they are indeed to explore and meet others for them to be more determined to attain something in life
.Submitted by mariaelishamag on
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task response
In your essay, you have presented some relevant ideas, but the response is not fully complete. Ensure that your essay addresses all aspects of the prompt and provides a clear viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a generally logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion are present. However, you can improve the cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and support the overall flow of your essay.
