The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less,than those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience brfore going high.Do you agree or disagree

#student #study #school #university #benefit #travel #job #skills #brfore

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Those individuals

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

will pursue

to attain

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a degree in a college institution will be less benefited, and share little to nothing, in comparison to those who will visit or seek work in other places for them to gain experience prior to attaining their degree. I do agree with the notion, for the reasons that, It can help them to widen their horizon and meet people that might inspire them.

Firstly

Linking Words

why

Rephrase

apply

show examples

I support the idea that a person can triumph in

life

Use synonyms

if they can explore the world; since there are loads of circumstances that they may face along their journey, and learn from them.

Hence

Linking Words

, they will gain experience of failures that will catapult them to strive more and build resilience in

life

Use synonyms

. Take one of the youngest sailors

for example

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

circumnavigate

Wrong verb form

circumnavigated

show examples

the world alone for 210 days in the ocean; even if the sea was scary she had learned to be courageous and took a leap of faith to achieve her dream before she went to university. Her success, inspires her to become a teacher to those who aspire to become like her.

Similarly

Linking Words

, the chance as well to meet people in their

life

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

will allow them to gain knowledge from different personalities or perhaps the achievement of that human. Inspiration from other individuals is a powerful tool to emulate

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and become the best version of themselves.

Thus

Linking Words

, they can tell their story and share them with everyone. Take Western countries

for instance

Linking Words

, they let their children travel before pursuing to go to a school institution and get the degree they want, with that, for sure they will meet individuals along the way and be inspired by what that somebody achieved in

life

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I ultimately agree that a person, before entering college, they are indeed to explore and meet others for them to be more determined to attain something in

life

Use synonyms

Submitted by mariaelishamag on Mon Feb 13 2023

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task response

In your essay, you have presented some relevant ideas, but the response is not fully complete. Ensure that your essay addresses all aspects of the prompt and provides a clear viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a generally logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion are present. However, you can improve the cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and support the overall flow of your essay.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic structure
Real-world experience
Practical skills
Soft skills
Foundational knowledge
Adaptability
Problem-solving
Career paths
Higher education
Global perspective
Cultural appreciation
Economic factors
Student debt
Long-term benefits
Workforce experience

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The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less,than those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience brfore going high.Do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school while others believe that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people say that computer game are bad for children by all means; others believe that these games are contributing to children's development discuss both views and give your own opinion.